The Official Writing Challenge
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04/17/08
My dad had a cough like that — until he quit. Better to live till 88 than die at 56. Good lesson here and well written.
04/18/08
Sadly real. Excellent writing.
04/19/08
Oh, I betcha you had kept this for uncle week, huh? Good writing. Very nice story.
04/19/08
Well now, that came out all wrong but you know what I mean. You probably wished you would have kept it for this week. There now:) Very good story!
04/22/08
It seems that this story would have fit better in the category of Uncles, rather than Fathers. But nevertheless, the lesson was good, even if given by Uncle Jake, rather than Father. I hope the boy took his uncle's advice...
04/23/08
Excellent writing, top-notch characterization, and I love your ending...I would have been disappointed if you'd given the character a sudden and complete change of heart. This is much more poignant. Very, very good!
I liked the message that you conveyed in this one. At first, I thought that Jake was going to condone the boy's smoking, but I'm glad that he didn't.

I liked your ending, because I think it portrayed the rebelliousness of a child very well. My dad started smoking when he was a young boy, and he says he wish he never had. It's been so hard for him to quit.

Thank you for sharing this wonderful story.
04/23/08
I liked the ending of this one. Not exactly what I had expected, which made it far better than I expected.
04/23/08
Excellent lesson that doesn't beat the reader over the head. I like the ending, too. It's not a pat answer and lets the reader think about the story-which is the point, right?
04/23/08
Very interesting. The twist on the end is good-the characters were real. ^_^
I felt like I was watching a movie. Your characters seemed so real. Very good lesson here too. Great writing.