Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Father (as in paternal parent, not God) (04/10/08)
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TITLE: Watch Me Daddy | Previous Challenge Entry
By George Parler
04/17/08 -
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A car pulled into the driveway. Rebecca had come to pickup Brandon, her son.
“Hello garden lady,” Rebecca said, getting out of her car.
“Hi honey. Hope you’re not in a hurry, you might have to wait awhile.”
“Don’t tell me; let me guess. The buddies are at the park?”
“You got it.” Eve smiled, wiping her shinning face.
“Daddy knew I was coming to pick up Brandon. Why does he always do this?”
“Well you could always drive to the park and pick Brandon up there.”
“No… I couldn’t do that. I’m not so old that I’ve forgotten what it’s like to go to the park with Dad. We would talk about anything as we walked to the park. I would swing on the playground and look up the hill, and there he was sitting on that old bench. He would be looking straight at me. I used to pretend he could see me swinging. But I knew he couldn’t; but still…it was nice to pretend he could.”
“Rebecca, though your father is blind he always saw you. Just not in a way that you or I could fully understand.”
“I know that, Mom. It’s just…I always wanted him to see me doing something. You know…like when I used to be in the school pageants. I would be all dressed up with my hair real pretty, or playing softball and making a base hit or catching a fly ball at left field. I just wanted him…” Rebecca paused as she wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. “I just wanted him to see me like I saw him.”
Eve walked over without saying a word and hugged Rebecca.
“How about a nice cup of tea? I think it will be good for the both of us,” said Eve.
“Mother, a cup of tea doesn’t cure everything.”
“No, but offering it does break the tension of the moment.”
“Well I can’t argue with you there.” Rebecca smiles, wiping another tear. “Let’s go have that tea, shall we?”
Inside the house the two of them entered the kitchen. Eve reached for the teapot and paused.
“Honey would you mind making our tea?”
“Make the tea? Mother…what kind of hostess offers her guest a cup of tea and then leaves them to make it?
“Oh quit your whining and make the tea. I have something I want to show you,” Eve said, as she walked out of the kitchen.
Eve returned carrying a cardboard box and placed it on the kitchen table.
“What’s all this, Mom?”
“Do you recognize any of this stuff?” Eve opened the box.
Rebecca digs through treasures of scribbled crayon drawings, hand made glass coasters, watercolor paintings, pictures of her in pageants, and playing softball.
“I can’t believe you kept all this stuff, Mom.” Memories flooded Rebecca’s mind.
“I didn’t; that’s all the things you gave to your Father. That’s his box.”
“But why would he keep pictures? He’s blind.”
“Because they’re of you. He would not allow me to get rid of anything you gave him.”
“I really need that cup of tea now,” Rebecca said, as tears filled her eyes again.
“You see honey; I can’t explain how your father experiences his surroundings. But I do know that he is keenly aware of everything around him. I don’t know how accurate the visions in his head are compared to the real things. But I know he likes whatever he’s seeing. I remember your father holding these pictures in his hands, trying to imagine what was there from the descriptions I gave. He would have me describe every detail, right down to the color of the ribbons in your hair. You see, even on your worst day he would see you as he desired to see you . . . at your best. So honey in essence, he saw you and I the way we would always want to be seen. To him you were always his beautiful little princess.”
Rebecca wiped her tears and smiled at Eve. “I think I will join them at the park, Mom. I really have a need to hug my Daddy right now.”
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If you are interested in further editing, I would suggest changing the couple of instances of present tense to past, and finding a synonym or two for "wiping," and possibly "tears."
You have done an excellent job of making me feel like I know this father.