The Official Writing Challenge
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This certainly explores the darkest side of fatherhood. It's tense and left me wanting to call 911!
04/20/08
This was very sad and very scary. So glad the doorbell rang. Wow. Close one.
04/21/08
You're right: there's no 'fluff' here! Great action, well-written dialogue and you left me wanting more. Great entry!
04/21/08
The best part for me is the climax--his "Do you? Do you?" interrupted by the doorbell, and the answer to prayer. Superb!
04/21/08
I like the title. This had real suspense building power. Good job.
04/21/08
This is very good, Allison. You did a nice job of building the suspense, and I loved the doorbell at the end. Very creative story--nice job with the topic.
04/22/08
Boy does that title match this father! What a gripping tale-you had me on the edge of my seat with this one. Good story-telling.
A very different take on this week's topic. The sad part of this story is that things like this really do happen.

You had my heart racing, as I anxiously waited to see how this was going to end. Good job building up the suspense.
Well, I certainly don't like that Gary flake and all I can say is good ridence and I hope he keeps running. You certainly evoked an emotional response from this reader. Well done.
04/23/08
Wow, Allison. Amazingly powerful and tense. This was almost TO real for me. Astounding job with atmosphere, girl!
04/23/08
Oooh, I don't like that idiot Gary at all. I hope that she gets some help and gets her daughter out of that situation right away! Very intense writing and I liked how you were able to keep the suspense at a good 'rate' nice job. ^_^
Definitely not a fluffy story. My heart was pounding. God answers prayers in unusual ways sometimes. I want a sequel and see Gary get his comeuppance big time. Revenge? No, only just punishment. Super job Allison!
04/25/08
Oh, Allison...this was great. Scary and tense, with a great climax!
09/09/08
Wow, Allison. Frightfully good. Love the end, and the answered prayer.