The Official Writing Challenge
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I felt like I was there.
The only thing this engaging story could use is a little more proofreading, with which I'd be glad to help, if you're interested.
Now that you've made me hungry...
04/19/08
Love the "plot out all the 'consternations'." The hobo bundles, cooked outside, sound delicious! I like this, "Songs, skits, stories and smoke filled the night." You've used all the senses in your entry…I can smell the fire, taste the hobo bundles and s'mores, feel the thin sword sticks, then hear the singing, and see the skits. You've taken me on this trip too. This is a very moving story.
04/21/08
Your next-to-last paragraph is so touching!

I found parts of this a little bit more "tell" than "show."

I really appreciate your unique approach to this week's topic--such a refreshing read.
04/24/08
I agree with the earlier comments. It was an enjoyable read, and with a little touch-up work it can be even better!