Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Father (as in paternal parent, not God) (04/10/08)
TITLE: What Am I, Apples and Peanut Butter?
By LauraLee Shaw
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She justified, “No, Mom, it’s just that Dad builds the best Lego castles, you know that.”
“Oh yeah? Well, I know a thing or two about Lego Castles, little Miss Jenny—and you’re missing out.” I shuffled into another room to mope.
After all these years of feeding, bathing and homeschooling—day in and day out—now all they want is Dad. “Dad, can you play with me?” “Put me on your shoulders, Dad.” Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, DAD.
Regaining my confidence, I attempted to bond with my son. “Hey, Justin—ya’ wanna show me what you’ve been destroying on SpyScape?”
“Just a minute, Mom. Dad and I are trying to win this quest together,” he replied, eyes glued to the computer.
“What do you mean? Dad’s at work,” I objected.
“Well, he’s taking his lunch break to play online with me.”
“Oh?” My bottom lip popped out--wayyyyyy out. “How fun for the two of you.”
Figures. I moped again, aimlessly wandering to the next room.
It’s not that I don’t want them to like their Dad…it’s just that all I’m known for around here is whipping up apples and peanut butter for a snack. What happened to “Her children will rise up and call her blessed?” I used to be blessed. I wanna feel like the blessed Mommy again.
Little Jen crashed my pity party. “Mom, can I call Dad?”
“No, honey, he’s busy. What do you need?”
“I want him to draw me a camel.”
“A camel—Daddy doesn’t have time to draw camels at work, Sweetie, but I’ll help you.”
Jen hung her head in polite surrender. “Welllll—ok.”
Here’s my chance to put moms everywhere in the spotlight again. My weepy heart began to swell with excitement.
“Now, just let me find one on my handy, dandy Mac. I go to ‘Search’ right here, and type, ‘Camel pictures.’ See honey? This will be eeeeasy breeeezy.”
Ten minutes went by, and I could not find a single traceable picture of a camel.
Jen had given up on me. “You know, who needs camels anyway? I’ll just go draw a ladybug or something.”
“NO,” I blubbered, “I’ll get you a camel…All I have to do is type in ‘Camel Coloring Book’….Bingo! Look—481,000 results. And the very first one says, ‘Camel Coloring Pages.’”
Like a triumphant warrior, I clicked on the link only to receive a message on my screen saying “SAFARI CANNOT OPEN THIS PAGE.” I clicked like a maniac, and the same dadgum message appeared over and again.
“Now can I call Daddy?” an exasperated Jen whined.
“NO, you most certainly will not bother Daddy at work.” I chomped my upper lip. “I can fix this.”
Justin yelled from upstairs. “Jenny, you don’t need to call Daddy, I’ve got him right here on I.M.”
“OH, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy,” she shrieked with delight as she ran to the likes of Dad via instant messenger.
All she wanted was a camel, Karen. You can’t even come up with ONE camel?
I sat there, completely defeated—defeated by Legos—defeated by technology—defeated by Dad.
The three of them are just up there gabbing away, and here I sit all alone staring at a big, ugly camel.
Apparently, Safari had found its page in Egypt or something.
“A camel?!!? Hey, Jen, I found a camel.” I turned into a giddy ninny. “Go get the camel off the printer. That didn’t come out right, but hey, who’s the bomb now? Huh?”
“Thanks, Mom, NOW I have two camels. Daddy sent me one to Justin’s email.”
Shaking my head in disbelief, a defeated smirk smeared across my face.
“Hey, Mom, everything ok?” Justin had the audacity to ask as he slithered into the room.
“Oh, Son, I’m just a big bag of crazy today. You sure you wanna open it?”
“Uhhhhhhhh, OK...but can I open it after you slice me up some apples and peanut butter?” he said, licking his lips and rubbing his hands together. “You do it best, Mom.”
“Music to my ears, dear Justin.” I hugged him like nobody’s business, and he tolerated it.
“Oh, I almost forgot to tell you, Mom. Dad said he loves you and that he is the most blessed man on earth.”
“He did, did he?” I suddenly realized what a lunatic I had been.
“Hey Mom, where ya goin’?”
“What am I, apples and peanut butter? I’m goin’ to call the greatest Dad on earth.”
Scripture reference--Proverbs 31:28, NIV
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