The Official Writing Challenge
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04/17/08
Wow,what a powerful story. Nice twist at the end. Phew...
04/17/08
Very good! I like the thought processes, the emotions, and the fact that he turned to his father, even though it meant confessing his earlier failing. A very enjoyable read.
04/17/08
Not everyone gets a second chance. Glad Connor took it! Well done.
Whooooo! I would like to get hold of that girl! Great characterisation, and good to see the MC grow.
04/19/08
This was a nice entry. Even our Christian kids trip up. Nice job.
Laury
Oh the twists and turns! Great writing, and powerful stuff for today's teens.
04/21/08
I really like the twist--although I did guess it was coming. Maybe because I worked at a pregnancy counseling center and I know what teenage girls, like Jacy, are capable of.

You did a good job explaining the diverse characters in a short time. And I like that he calls his dad at the end. This would be a good short skit for a youth group.
04/21/08
This piece is filled with incredible descriptions and details that made me want to keep reading. I learn so much by studying pieces like these that flow so smoothly and put the reader right into the story. Well done.
04/21/08
Oh Kristen, we had the same thought this week! Great minds...

I really like your approach to this. Our "fathers" could have been the same guy, but our girls were very different, and you were able to bring yours to closure as I could not. Excellent!
What a thought provoking piece that helps the reader wonder about their own choces. Well written.
04/21/08
Very well written. I enjoyed the twist at the end and the realization that his dad was his best friend.
04/21/08
Ouch, what a mess. I really felt for the poor guy - she was running circles around him. The ending was a great twist.
I loved the intense build up of emotions and then the surprise ending. You kept me waiting in anticipation to see what decision Connor was going to make.

I have met girls like Jacy who try to entice guys that they know are trying to stay pure, simply so they can brag about bringing them down. I am glad that Connor felt remorse for the mistake that he made.

Another superb entry, which is what you always bring to the table. Thank you for sharing this Kristen. :)
Wow, Kristen. This is such good story-telling. You took me on an emotional roller coaster and at the end I breathed prayer of thanksgiving for Conner. Jacy being the kind of girl she was made it totally believable that she would play a practical joke on Conner, a boy she considered a hopeless innocent. But it was also sad to see the spiritual void in Jacy and her friends. I especially liked your final sentence, revealing that Connor would share his lesson with a loving father.
Wow, Kristen. This is such good story-telling. You took me on an emotional roller coaster and at the end I breathed prayer of thanksgiving for Conner. Jacy being the kind of girl she was made it totally believable that she would play a practical joke on Conner, a boy she considered a hopeless innocent. But it was also sad to see the spiritual void in Jacy and her friends. I especially liked your final sentence, revealing that Connor would share his lesson with a loving father.
Sorry about my comment appearing twice. Nothing was happening so I hit the review button again. :)
Well, if you ask me, this is a great story to reinforce absinence. It is told in a way that is a real eye opener without being preachy. You were able to put the reader right there in the protagonist's shoes and have them wondering, just what they would do...not to mention the feeling of remorse. I liked, too the relationship Conner had with his dad. Great job.
Great story. Solid character development in a short space.
04/23/08
Oooh, that Jacy makes me sooo mad! I wish I could shake her or something! Ugh. This was a great story, I completely went 'into it' and felt as if I were another student watching the drama unfold from the shadows. I'm so glad too that Connor was sorry for what he did and that he chose to call his dad in the end. Great job! ^_^