The Official Writing Challenge
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04/17/08
WOW! This is simply amazing. I can feel the atmosphere here, the details, like the man with no chin or neck and the putting a business card-this is different. I really liked it, I could feel the emotions going through her and I was glad that she had that 'last talk'. Very well done! ^_^
04/18/08
What a unique take on the topic. Well written and interesting.
04/18/08
Nice job.
04/18/08
A very moving piece. Well done!
Very emotionally impacting. There is yet another story to be told, a book in fact.

It could come in right exactly here:

I had never heard his voice…never called anyone “daddy”. It had never really bothered me. I couldn’t miss what I never had. But now it did.

At that point I was intrigued to know much, much more - perhaps a hook-up with the past where she would learn he really was in her life more than she knew. Good, reader-involving writing.
04/19/08
Very powerful. Very moving. Well done.
Incredible writing and I could feel your pain about your Dad. I wanted something magical to happen about the business card because this whole story was magical and truthful. A great telling. Your title drew me toread this one. Thank you.
04/21/08
Catchy title too! I wonder whether it wouldn’t have added to the sense of loss and disappointment had we know how the father died. Was he with your mother when he died? Or were they perhaps estranged at the time of his death? Little things that add to the atmosphere.
04/21/08
This is very well written, and says so much. Thank you for sharing this story.
08/14/09
My thoughts (and these might not necessarily need to be included in your well-written story).
*What (if anything) did your mother tell you about your father?
*Growing up, did you ask about him?
*Why didn't she tell you about him?
*Why was your mother "never proud of you?"
*What "issues" did your mother have that made her react to you this way?

I like this story. I don't know if you'd need to change much. Hopefully someone with a little more expertise can help you.
08/16/09
*sigh*...good ending, very satisifying
I agree with Beth. A few more specific details would help the reader relate.