The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
04/10/08
Great development of the "plot" and all within 750 words. Well done.
04/10/08
Beautiful and vivid descriptions throughout this piece. This was my favorite: I can still remember the tears trickling from Cindy’s eyes; like melting spring snow dripping from my eaves. Tender, heartfelt story.
04/12/08
Lovely, with some great descriptions. I could picture this so vividly.
You have woven many wonderful elements into this story...sadness, hope, tenderness...even a gasp when the child nearly falls off the roof! WOnderful writing.
04/14/08
Gorgeous first sentence--I love the idea of an "ambitious" day.

Lovely story with some great characterization. A few punctuation errors more than I'm used to seeing in your work, easily fixed.

Lots of bittersweet tenderness in this story--very well done.
Great opening paragraph. And, "Cindy was allergic to fresh air. It reminded her of life" was perfect. Excellent vivid descriptions.
Bravo my friend! This was beautiful, bittersweet, and inspiring. Well done.
04/14/08
Wonderful, touching story. I like how the Grandpa used his tactics to initiate healing for the rest of the family. "Cindy was allergic to fresh air. It reminded her of life." was also my favorite line. Great characterization of both Cindy and Paul with this line.
04/15/08
Wow.. breathtaking. Amazing story. I was right there.
Sometimes it simply takes these kind of nudges to bring us out of our "hiding" places. And it is not everyone who is wise or well-able to give us that push...like Grandpa did. I especially liked the symbolism used in this piece as well.
04/16/08
I really enjoying this moving account of helping the mother to overcome tragedy and move on with her life.
04/16/08
This is just beautiful. Such a lot packed into a handful of words. Wow.
Who says guys aren't sneaky? This was a lovely, touching story. Love the end.
04/16/08
Ooh, what a lovely story! I loved Paul and was especially glad that Cindy finally ventured out to have a look at 'life' again. Lol-I also love the bit that 'wasn't in the plan'. Great job! ^_^
04/16/08
Wow, this is a very touching story. I could picture the whole event happening--with all the emotions. Nice job with the topic.
So much here in one scene. Yeah for smart grandpas!
04/18/08
Congratulations, Bill, on placing 27th with this piece (and without my look-over, by the way). Great job, my friend.