The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/12/08
Loved these delightful characters. Thank you for sharing this darling story.
This piece has a nice rustic tone to it. Your characters are believable. I felt the ending was a bit abrupt. It might have flowed just a bit better if there had been a few more clues about Bill. That doesn't detract from the homey, warm picture you painted, though. This is very nicely done.
Mmmm freshly caught fish. What a delightful story. I love Sami and Grandpa's relationship. Perhaps the death of Bill was a bit abrupt, but those fish sure tasted good.
Excellent dialogue and I enjoyed the warmth of the family together. Great job!
04/14/08
Hey, good characterization--even of old Bill!

I had a hard time at first figuring out who all these characters were, and their relationships to each other. I think you could have eliminated the brother's family altogether to simplify the story.

I enjoyed the rural atmosphere of this sweet story.
04/14/08
I like the setting you've created and the coziness of the family. I agree about the ending, but some stories tend to need more than the word count allows :)
04/16/08
Wow, lots going on in here! So many people, things and excitment. (Sounds like one of my family reunions-lol) This was good, I would've liked to know more about everyone though, it seems like this was such a short glimpse with plenty more to come. Great job! ^_^
You have some really great characters here. At first I was a bit confused on how everyone was related, but then as the story took off, I began to figure things out.

I appreciate you sharing this. Keep up the good writing! :)
04/19/08
Great memories of your grandparents. Took me right into their lives. I'm sad that Bill died, but I think he had a good life with Grandpa......Thanks for your comment on my "Father" article....Helen
With lots of down-home dialogue you captured the spirit of country and family in a bygone era. Made me want to pull up a chair and dive into those homegrown tomatoes. Well, maybe it does still exist in some places.