Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Four Ways For A Christian Writer To Win A Publishing Package HERE



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Grandparent(s) (04/03/08)

TITLE: Sami's Pretty Fish
By Debbie Wistrom
04/09/08


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

“Ho ho hum” Dad paused as his eyes lit up. I knew what was coming.

Sami started, “Well it sounds li-”

“It’s two hos and a hum.”

“Aw Grandpa, that’s silly.”

“Never mind that, do you want to go to the lake and see what’s bitin’?”

“Yippee,” Sami hurried to get her shoes.

"Let’s go, Bill. Sugar Doll, go to the shed and get a small coffee can for the worms. I’ll meet you at the truck. Ladies, we will see you later.”

Sami wrinkled her face. I wasn’t sure if her disgust was the thought of Bill in the front seat between her and her grandpa or the icky worms. Bill was the ugliest dog in the world and Dad’s shadow. He was old, smelled bad and scratched constantly but there was no leaving him home. He was part of the family.

Old Blue was always ready for fishing, in it Dad kept a collection of bamboo poles ready for whenever he had grandkids to entertain.

Mom and I looked at each other, we would have enjoyed the outing, but we had work to do before brother Matt and his brood showed up for lunch. I pulled and cleaned some of Dad’s radishes, fought through the jungle of tomato plants and harvested the ripest, most beautiful fruits in the state.

“Will a dozen be enough for devilled eggs?”

“You know your brother will eat half of them so we better do two.”

We laughed, we knew about this family and food.

“Look Mom, I caught all of them, aren’t they pretty?” Her previous thoughts were gone. All that mattered was the fish, her granddad and Bill. “Grandpa showed me where to dig the worms, there were so many that we filled the can right away. He showed me how to put the worm on the hook; he fixed my bobber just right so when the fish tried to take my worm I’d get him instead. One tried jumping back into the lake, but Bill shoed him back to Grandpa. Bill sat on my lap on the way home.”

“That’s great, honey” I delighted in her joy and her success. I spend my time at the lake with a book, not a pole, looks like the angler gene skipped a generation.

Surprise replaced the joy when Sami rubbed the top of Bill’s head. “Right boy? Are you okay?"
Eight shiny blue gills glistened from the workbench, “Hand me that fillet knife, my sparklin’ diamond. If I get ‘em cleaned up real fast maybe your grandma will fry ‘em up for lunch. Won’t they taste great with buttermilk?”

“Eew, Grandpa, that’s gross.”

Convinced buttermilk was the nectar of life; Dad didn’t understand when anyone disagreed. “With just a bit of salt, aahhh, that’s the best, but I can’t let your grandma catch me with the salt shaker, she’ll tan my hide.

He washed up and started lunch preparations. Matt and his family arrived just in time for the gustatory delight. No one missed these lunches and no one left hungry, there was something for everyone. Cutting into the rosy flesh of one of his prized tomatoes, Dad said, “Sami, run out back and get some lettuce. Will someone grab some black cherry sodas out of the fridge on the porch? Who wants liver sausage?”

The frig was emptied of most of its contents, mustard, salad dressings, pickles, onion dip, four kinds of cheese, a variety of lunch meat for those not fond of Dad’s beloved liver sausage, the radishes, every leftover container had a second chance. Grandma looked at the bounty and said, “I always say that this would be the perfect time to clean the fridge.”

The pantry yielded three different bags of chips, peanut butter, and crackers.

Everyone found a seat, even Bill huffed and settled in under Dad’s chair. The feeding frenzy began.

“Uncle Matt, you have to try the fish. I caught ‘em. Grandpa and Bill helped”

“Sure, pass ‘em down. Yummeeee, did you cook ‘em?”

“Noooowa, Uncle Matt, that’s silly.”

Chow time over, kids dispersed to do what kids do, Mom and I cleaned up.

“Oh no.” Dad and Matt exclaimed at the same time.

“Bill’s dead. I thought he’d been acting strange since we left the house this morning.”

The kids overheard and gathered around Dad, Sami was the first, “Aw, Grandpa, that’s sad.”

Dad, Sami and Bill made a second trip to the lake that day and the rest of us joined them.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 664 times
Member Comments
Member Date
LauraLee Shaw04/12/08
Loved these delightful characters. Thank you for sharing this darling story.
Betty Castleberry04/13/08
This piece has a nice rustic tone to it. Your characters are believable. I felt the ending was a bit abrupt. It might have flowed just a bit better if there had been a few more clues about Bill. That doesn't detract from the homey, warm picture you painted, though. This is very nicely done.
Lyn Churchyard04/13/08
Mmmm freshly caught fish. What a delightful story. I love Sami and Grandpa's relationship. Perhaps the death of Bill was a bit abrupt, but those fish sure tasted good.
Joy Faire Stewart04/14/08
Excellent dialogue and I enjoyed the warmth of the family together. Great job!
Jan Ackerson 04/14/08
Hey, good characterization--even of old Bill!

I had a hard time at first figuring out who all these characters were, and their relationships to each other. I think you could have eliminated the brother's family altogether to simplify the story.

I enjoyed the rural atmosphere of this sweet story.
Glynis Becker 04/14/08
I like the setting you've created and the coziness of the family. I agree about the ending, but some stories tend to need more than the word count allows :)
Sara Harricharan 04/16/08
Wow, lots going on in here! So many people, things and excitment. (Sounds like one of my family reunions-lol) This was good, I would've liked to know more about everyone though, it seems like this was such a short glimpse with plenty more to come. Great job! ^_^
Joshua Janoski04/16/08
You have some really great characters here. At first I was a bit confused on how everyone was related, but then as the story took off, I began to figure things out.

I appreciate you sharing this. Keep up the good writing! :)
Helen Dowd 04/19/08
Great memories of your grandparents. Took me right into their lives. I'm sad that Bill died, but I think he had a good life with Grandpa......Thanks for your comment on my "Father" article....Helen
Janice Cartwright04/21/08
With lots of down-home dialogue you captured the spirit of country and family in a bygone era. Made me want to pull up a chair and dive into those homegrown tomatoes. Well, maybe it does still exist in some places.