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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Grandparent(s) (04/03/08)

TITLE: Berrying
By Shirley McClay
04/09/08


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Leah squeaked in pain as her arm was scratched, yet again, by the raspberry bush she was trying to maneuver around. She should have worn long sleeves as Gran had suggested. She carefully picked her shirt free from the barbs of a spiny green shoot reaching out from the damp soil.

The rain from last night had gently soaked the earth and the intense sun had dried all but the ground under the densely growing stalks. Leah knelt gingerly, and bit back a yelp as her knee found yet another painful briar.

She stubbornly wiggled her way into a spot deep under the bushes where the berries hung in luscious ripe red clusters with only a few of the hard greenish white ones mixed in. From her practical position, Leah could reach up and pick the ones hiding low and under the leaves. The ones most people couldn’t see or get to. Being only nine and very small had its good points.

The songs of birds and crickets were getting boring. “Gran, why did God make raspberries with thorns?”

Gran chuckled nearby. “If they were too easy to get to, they’d be already eaten!”

The silence enveloped them again; but Leah knew Gran and she waited because the best was still brewing under her steel gray bun.

“Sometimes painful thorns hide the most wonderful treasures. It’s worth taking the time and effort and even the pain to get to the fruit hiding deep in the bush.”

Leah’s brow wrinkled and her nose twitched. “You mean people, right Gran?” She swatted at a mosquito and brushed a bee away from her ear.

The sounds of Gran making her way out of the berry thicket made her pick faster. Gran’s pail was sure to be heaped up without room for one more berry. “Keep talking, Leah.”

As Gran made her way back into the patch she had just vacated, Leah popped a berry into her mouth and enjoyed the soft fuzzy tickle on the roof of her mouth. She rolled it around a bit, savoring the moment, and then squished it with her tongue. The juice filled her mouth and the sweet flavor made her jaw ache.

“If you’re finished with your berry, please finish what you were saying.” Leah grinned. Gran couldn’t see her, but knew exactly what she was doing. Gran always knew. Leah inhaled deeply, enjoying the blended scents of berries, damp earth, and green growing things.

“I guess it means that just because a person isn’t easy to get to know, or even seems thorny,” Leah giggled at the picture that flashed through her mind, “it doesn’t mean that it isn’t worth it… even though I might get hurt trying to get to the good stuff.”

“That’s right. Lots of thorny bushes hide some of the sweetest fruit. Those thorns are just protecting the bush from being destroyed and the fruit from being stolen.”

“But strawberries aren’t like that, Gran.” Another bee buzzed past Leah’s nose. “And neither are you.” She inched her way back out of the maze of thorns and berries, pushing the pail ahead of her.

“Why do people grow thorns, Gran?” She stood in the clearing and stretched.

“Because they feel they need to protect themselves from getting bruised, hurt… even destroyed. They’re trusting thorns instead of God.” Gran talked as she made her way out and joined Leah at the huge collecting buckets. She opened the jug of lemonade and they shared a drink.

“I was thorny long ago, Leah. But I made the decision to take that chance of being hurt so that God could use my fruit however He wanted.” They watched as a Cardinal jabbed at the bark of an apple tree, searching for bugs. “I’ve been bruised, but God is my gardener and He always gives me what I need to keep on growing.”

“How’d you get so smart, Gran? You always have such wise answers to boring questions.” Leah took Gran’s gnarled berry-stained hand and squeezed it.

“No question is boring. Questions mean you are thinking about your world and the life God has given you, and that will help you get to know Him better. I suppose that’s how I’ve found the answers you’re talking about. I’ve asked Him many questions through the years and have learned to see a glimpse of Him in every tiny piece of life."

Leah looked up at her grandmother’s serene and sparkling blue eyes. “I’m so glad you’re a strawberry Gran.”


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This article has been read 1152 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Laury Hubrich 04/10/08
I love the descriptions in this piece and I love the lesson learned. Very good writing!
Laury
Christine Dunn04/11/08
A great lesson. I especially liked the last statement. Very well written.
Lynda Schultz 04/12/08
The descriptions had my mouth watering. The conversation from granny was a little deep, I thought, for a nine year old, but 750 words doesn't give you a lot of time to ease into the lesson a little more over a longer time period, does it? Nice work.
Joanne Sher 04/12/08
Great imagery, and I love the relationship between these two. Enjoyed this read.
Glynis Becker 04/12/08
Oh how you reminded me of picking berries with my grandma. Wonderfully written. I can just taste the fruit!
Kristen Hester 04/12/08
Great writing. Great message. I loved the added details (bees flying around, etc.) Good job.
Lyn Churchyard04/13/08
I loved every part of this. The descriptions, the dialogue... everything. What a wonderful grandma to weave a Christian truth into berry picking.
So very, very well written.
Chely Roach04/13/08
This was so beautifully done...vivid descriptions and dialogue. I loved the line, "They’re trusting thorns instead of God.” So good.
Dee Yoder 04/13/08
I also like the last line. The relationship between these two characters is as sweet as the berries they're picking. I felt my arms itch just reading these vivid descriptions of the berry bush! I especially like the description of the berry in her mouth-just the way it's done when you find a sweet, ripe berry!
Debbie Wistrom04/13/08
You captured this event so well and the lesson is perfect. Thanks and keep writing.
Joshua Janoski04/13/08
“I’m so glad you’re a strawberry Gran.”

I loved the last line.

I liked the lesson that you presented in this. I have caught myself being one of those people that puts thorn around me, afraid of getting hurt by people. Praise God that he helps us shed those thorns and share our sweetness with the world around us.

I know you like red ink, but it is so hard for me to red ink this. I really didn't think that the lesson was too deep for the girl, because kids nowadays are very smart and understand a lot more than we even realize.

All I can say is great job Shirley. Yet another wonderful entry from you. :)
Jan Ackerson 04/14/08
Shirley, this is absolutely charming, and the sensory details really add so much atmosphere to your story.

My only red ink would be about the realism of the dialogue; I just can't imagine a real little girl asking those kinds of questions, and coming to the realizations that grandma is leading her to. (Maybe I just didn't know the right kinds of little kids.) But as a kid's story, it definitely works.
LauraLee Shaw04/15/08
YOur original descriptions are SO excellent. This one was my favorite:
Leah took Gran’s gnarled berry-stained hand and squeezed it.
Marita Thelander 04/16/08
The paragraph discribing the process of enjoying a berry is my favorite part. Good discriptions.
Sara Harricharan 04/16/08
I love the strawberry comparison here! (I also like this delightful grandmother!) I loved the character of Leah and how you showed us her grandmother through her eyes, it was a neat summery kind of story.

RED INK: I don't know if a 9 year old would say "wise answers" unless she heard it somewhere first, generally, they pick something a little more...kid-like. lol. Nice job! ^_^
Mandy White04/16/08
I used to pick berries with my grandma. Thanks for a trip down memory lane. Charming in every way.
Mandy White04/17/08
Way to go! This so deserved the wonderful recognition it received!
LauraLee Shaw04/17/08
Yea, Shirley! congrats on highly commended!!!!
Sheri Gordon04/17/08
Congratulations on your Highly Commended. Good job.
Joanne Sher 04/18/08
Oooh, Shirley - just wanted to put it on here "officially" (LOL whatever that means) that you not only came in fifth in your level, but you were 15th overall. Awesome, girl!
Yvonne Blake 07/22/08
Mmmmmm.... just picked a bowlful this morning! There's nothing in the world like a raspberry right off the bush!
(thanks for commenting on my blog)


   
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