The Official Writing Challenge
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04/10/08
A delightful story—it brought tears to my eyes. Well done.
04/10/08
I got interrupted reading this earlier, and I liked it so well that I came back to finish as soon as I could. I like your characters, they're charming, they sparkle. This is the start of a beautiful friendship.
04/12/08
Oh so lovely. Wonderful characterization and a compelling read. Made my heart warm up.
04/12/08
I loved this story. It brought tears to my eyes, too. Great writing!
Laury
04/12/08
I can just imagine these two characters getting to know one another and sharing much more than cookies through the years. Wonderful characters!
What a wonderful story. Cookies and milk AND Jesus. Should be more Willas in the world.
04/13/08
This is a darling story. I felt like a fly on the wall. This was my favorite line:
“That's what the teacher said. An' she said that we'd go to hell because we're sinners. Willa, I don' wanna go ta hell. I wanna be with Jesus.” Jason's fingers clenched, squishing his forgotten cookie.
WEll done.
04/14/08
Oh, too cute! (though that Willa sounds familiar...lol) I liked the character of Jason, he was real with a nice dose of manners. My favorite line was how he laughed saying that he thought 'his nana' was the only one who dunked her cookies in milk and talked with her mouth full. I felt as if I knew his Nana with just those few lines-really great writing-and chocolate chip cookies...cookies always make things better! ^_^
04/14/08
This is so heart-warming. If this happened more often the world would be a better place. :)
04/14/08
Very sweet story, and it made me hungry for milk and cookies.

A nitpick: I'm not sure how realistic the conversation is. In my experience, kids just aren't that precocious or wise.

But as archetypal characters, they both work very well, and this would make a super kid's story. Now, off to find the milk and cookies around here.
A devine opportunity devined by a person with a gracious, loving heart. I could feel the sincerity of your character's feelings by your great choice of words.
04/16/08
Willa is great--you did a good job with her character.

I wanted a little more clue as to Jason's age. (I like to 'see' the story.) Some of his actions/dialogue seemed one age, and then he seemed to be older at other times.)

Love the use of milk and cookies--perfect for the topic.
I loved Wila's hesitantcy and her determination. This flowed well and read as real.
I got all teary eyed from this. It reminded me of when I first asked Jesus into my heart as a young boy.

Willa is special. Her heart for the child was amazing. I loved how the two kept each other company.

My only complaint - I am trying to lose weight, and now I want cookies after reading this. :)
I love this sweet story. I'm glad they found each other, and I'm glad the little boy found Jesus. Nicely done.
04/18/08
Congratulations, Peejers, on placing 15th in your level and 24th overall with this piece. Great work!