The Official Writing Challenge
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04/10/08
Excellent story--masterfully written. I hope and pray the Mrs. Jacobs-types out there read this, look in the mirror, and they repent.
WOW! Everything about this submission is perfect. I feel that we have a placer here. WOW!
04/10/08
Very good! Justin is a very wise young man indeed. His poem was the perfect way to show his feelings about the situation. Well done!
04/11/08
Even though I had an idea what was coming, it didn't lessen the impact of the poem. I've read a lot of stories in the last two days and this one is my favorite thus far. Well done! Well done! Well done!
04/12/08
Excellent and a twist on the theme which is very refreshing.
This is perfectly written--they dialouge, the descriptions, the pace. Bravo. The characters are so realistic. The details (slipping purse strap, school bell shattering the silence, atc.)enhance this lovely entry. It has a great message and I like that it doesn't totally resolve in the end. We're left wondering, "Will they change their ways?" I hope so, for Justin's sake. Great job.
04/12/08
Great story. Great lesson, Great writing.
04/12/08
Wow! Love this. We tend to learn so much from our kids when we take the time to listen. Wow!
04/12/08
Great characterization of mom especially - and I love the poem - SO like a fourth-grader. Excellent. And what a message - comes through so clearly.
04/12/08
Loved the description of Jan coming into the classroom. Very typical of a harried mother.

A small nitpick: I haven't had a 4th grader in a long time, but the poem seemed too good to be a genuine 4th grader poem. It seemed too wise--especially the last line.

Great take on the topic. You've cleverly addressed a centuries-old issue.
"Out of the mouths of babes". How often God uses children to get our attention. This was perfectly written. Excellent job Miss Laura.
04/13/08
Oooohhh...what a brave teacher to wade into THAT deep water! Love the characters and the setting. The poem is quite descriptive of the trouble between these two, but so is the attitude they bring to the classroom. Great story telling! As a reader, I was involved in the conflict from beginning to end.
Superb writing, full of detail that makes me feel as if I was there. Great message, too. I hope the mom and grandma mend their fences. Maybe you should do a sequel. ;0)
I think this entry is going to place high this week.

Justin sure is a smart kid, and his poem at the end was the jewel of this piece. Of course, everything else was wonderful too (dialogue, the characters, etc...).

Some people just have this whole writing thing figured out, and you would be one of those people. :)
04/14/08
Ooohh. This is very good! I love the "after school detention." -- and the school bell shattering their silence. :) I enjoyed the diversity with all the elements you've used (adding poetry). Great work -- very creative!
04/14/08
Super!

That's one gifted 4th grader--I might have made the poem a little bit less perfect.

But I loved your characterization of the sniping women--excellent!
04/14/08
Wow, the characters here really came alive. You did such a good job with Helen, making her the one that I 'loved to hate'. I felt so sorry for Jan and could sympathize with her frustration, the poem was pretty good-I could hear that being set to music. ^_^ The ending was pretty good-especially with Mrs. Kern's 'time out'. I bet that dueling duo will work out some sort of 'compromise'. Great writing! ^_^
Much to my regret, our daughter could have written that poem. This really hit home.
04/15/08
Great job, Laura. I love your attention to detail in this and the dialogue was so realistic.

I'm sure this hits home for many.
A real attention getter in more ways than one. I liked your unique approach to the topic. It never ceases to amaze me how observant our kids can be...even when it's not the most convenient time.
Your descriptions and characterizations are so vivid you place your reader in the scene. Great job!
04/16/08
This is soooooo good!! I LOVE it!! It packs a wallop in a fun way that simply adds to the lesson. GREAT job!! Huggles!!
04/17/08
Wow, this was great! Loved it!
04/18/08
Congratulations, Laura, on placing 14th in your level and 34th overall with this piece. :D