The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 740 times
Member Comments
Lovely story! Love your descriptions. Makes me want to take off my shoes/socks and go run in the garden! Cool, cool memories!
LOVED Mimi and Lloyd's personalities. What characters! This line cracked me up: Sometimes Mimi would catch Grandpa in her garden looking around and she would tell him to mind his own garden.Vivid descriptions throughout. Well done.
This proves you didn't need a buddy writer. Your story flowed like a movie flashback. I could tell it was good writing when I started smelling the garden veggies.
This one made me want to flee the city and find a vegetable garden somewhere. Well done.
Such sweet memories. This was a well written, enjoyable read.
You brought back many memories for me, too, of my grandparent's and my parent's gardens. At the time, it all seemed so ordinary, but now, the memories are filled with special meanings. Great characterizations!
Incredible descriptions, and wonderful characterizations, Marita. A beautiful slice of life. Lovely.
I WANT SOME ONION RINGS! This is amaizing writing. I could perfectly picture the whole story. Great job!
Mmmm, fresh vegetables straight from the garden! I remember eating the beans and peas straight from the vine in my mother's garden.

This was great, I loved your memories of your grandparents. Great job Marita!
Your descriptions are right on target. I loved how your grandparents had their own garden plots and competed with each other. What a way to spend the summer.
I could feel the soil under my feet as I ran through the garden with grandpa. I also could smell the fried goodness of the onion rings.

I liked the part where you are trying to convince grandpa that the light is yellow.

Thank you for sharing this wonderful story. :)
Great characterization of the grandpa--lots of things make him very real to the reader.

I think you could do without the asterisks...your flashback works very well with your transitional phrases.

A question--wouldn't he know the position of the flashing light, and know which one it was by where it was located?

The relationship between the grandparents? Charming. Great job.
I loved this, Marita. I spent lots of time barefoot in my grandma's garden too.

I love the portrayal of this sweet relationship.
Hope this is a true story. The memories are wonderful and I loved it!
I love these grandparents! Colorful and unique doesn't even begin to describe them! They are very vivid and I could just see how memories like this build the best kind of grandkids. Great job here! ^_^
I personally don't think there is a greater smell then that of a summer vegetable garden! Thank-you for brining back those wonderful memories so well.
I LOVED this! My favorite line:I wiggled my toes inside my sneakers, willing them to be free of there prison of shoes. Awesome!