The Official Writing Challenge
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Wonderful imagery here and I was a bit teary with the rest of your characters.
The descriptions are so vivid and excellent job showing emotions. I was very touched when MC saw her dad's tears.
I loved reading this. You created a lot of interest with your title and your descriptive writing is very good. You bring about many emotions. What a labor of love you and your father did, I'm glad I was able to read this. The ending was wonderful.
You have captured the special devotion of a family returning to visit the grave of a loved one--something that is less and less common, and can leave such an impact on children. This is something my children will continue with their children, I hope, passing along the memories of the generations that have gone before. Really lovely story.
I had lots of questions as I read: How did grandpa get to his first resting place? The jump from the first scene to the second was abrupt, but resolved when you explained the move. Interesting story.
Very good story telling. Its fun to experiment, isn't it? Good job. Excellent work, as always!
Wonderful imagery and characterizations pulled me into your story. I like the ending and the tie to her grandfather and what she felt she missed.
Beautifully written with great imagery. I could see it all, and enjoyed reading this.
I LOVE the ending, and your descriptions are so vivid. Very good.
I want to know so much more about this man, and the history behind why he was buried there in the first place. He must have been a great man to have this much impact even after he is gone.
Excellent, excellent writing. Your word choices are superb.

Just a technicality: I would only skip one line between paragraphs. Also, I wanted more information during the transistion. DId they move the stone? Why was it in the first location, etc.?

I loved the ending and especially the last line. This is a very touching, creative entry.

Thanks so much for all the wonderful comments...

I usually don't add anything in my own comment space, but I wanted to answer the several queries about why the grave was moved.

I only touched on it in the first paragraph; the cemetery was abandoned and neglected. If memory serves me, the owners went bankrupt and left town. Without a caretaker, it became a snake and rat infested mess. My poor Dad was beyond furious...
What a great tribute to the grandfather you never saw. The love showed by his son says it all. Beautifully written, very well done Chely, very well done!
The transition was smooth. A lot nicer than the *** that I often use. :)

I wondered why the cemetery had been neglected, but I read your explanation above.

I figured out why I love your entries so much. Your word choices are brilliant. You have such a robust vocabulary that you use every time that amazes me.

I seriously think you will be getting an Editor's Choice before long.
Chely, this is beautifully done. You asked specifically about the transition: I loved it. I far prefer transitional phrases to rows of asterisks, especially in pieces this short. Your writing is a gift to us all.
Oh Chely, this was both beautiful and moving! I can see why your father was so touched! Thank you for sharing this tender piece of your families history. Good job and God bless.
Love it, Michele. The details of the mosqutio bites made me itch as I can well remember having blood streaked arms and legs!

Beautiful memory!
This is simply beautiful-I did something like this with My Mom when we went 'back home' to see her father's grave. Brought back some memories-really good job here, I hope this does well! ^_^
Your descriptions are out of this world. I find myself hanging on the word choices, not wanting to move on to the next sentence. My favorite? Hard to choose, but I loved this: The trio openly wept bittersweet tears. The scab of an old wound ripped away, oozed with fresh pain; their sorrow mixed with the joy of a horrendous wrong now made right.
Oh goodness, this one got to me. The line "Previously, just the black and white picture of a ghost perched on a piano; he suddenly became very real to her. " spoke to me, as I have a relative I never knew except through pictures.

I live in the south and I could feel the sticky, buggy, heat through your description. Nice work, ugh. ;-)
Congratulations, Michelle, on placing 13th in your level and 33rd overall with this piece. Great work!
You continue to amaze me with your stories. They always draw me in. Keep up the great work.