The Official Writing Challenge
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It would seem that several people were trying to make hay in this suspenseful tale.
While it is, admittedly, hypocritical of me to mention that the ending left me with an icky feeling...
What an astounding MC you created. If she were clever enough to pull off the magnificent deception, she would be clever and controlling enough to use the revolver.
An hour or so later, and I'm still thinking about your story (speaks of great writng) and I just recognized the genius of your title
You packed quite a story into 750 words - felt like I'd just watched a mini movie - loved your descriptions and overall, the whole piece. Very entertaining.
03/16/08
What a great however dark ending.Never saw it coming.
03/16/08
Wowsers! This is like a whole movie in 750 words, including the twist-after-the-twist. Masterful, and highly entertaining. I love this type of thing--nothing but high marks from me.
03/16/08
Oh, my! What a story. I, too, am amazed at how much you were able to put into the word constraints here. You wrapped up the story very well within the 750 word limit. But I would really love to see this expanded into a book! Very well done!
03/16/08
Holy Toledo...didn't see that coming...or the next twist, either!
Incredible story; I can't believe you did that in 750 words. Loved it.
Hooly Dooly! Girl, you are some weaver of tales. Awesome! Never in a million years did I see the end coming. Oh boy, if this doesn't place I'll be surprised. Great, great job!
What? And you leave us hanging? How does she live out the rest of her life? Does she go on multiple cruises? Wild shopping sprees on Rodeo Drive, what? I want to know more! BTW, I loved this.
This is my favorite this week for sure. I love a good mystery and this fit the bill. Thanks for writing this, I hope it places!
03/18/08
oh. my. That ending sure threw me for a loop! What a twist! LoL--I'd say her business was going to get even messier soon Fun!
I had a similar theme for a poem I wrote for this topic but more comedic. Glad I didn't enter it. You nailed this one, in my opinion. I liked the style and the voice.
This is indeed like a movie. I didn't pick up on either twist. You got me! I'm glad the kids didn't get the money, but I felt bad for the man. Nice job. I enjoyed this A LOT!!!
One of my favorite stories this week. It truly had a Hollywood twist at the end. I could easily picture this being a mafia film if it were expanded. Amazing writing!
03/19/08
Ahhh, this reminds me of an Agatha Christie! I do so like it! Very good twist, I had a hint that it was coming though-since it reminds me of "witness for the prosecution" otherwise, really neat-especially with Ella's creative tough with the black marker and the white fingernail.

RED INK: Are any commas or something missing from this line? It reads a tad awkwardly for me. "False love turned into guilt manipulation turned into threats."

^_^
03/19/08
Wow - very powerful, and what an amazing twist. Masterfully crafted.
This was one of those few stories where I could actually place myself in the scene and see it all taking place. And poor Frank...he has NO idea what's coming, or does he ;)
03/20/08
Sally -- I wanted to tell you that I LOVED this story. You gave hints, but still kept me guessing. Awesome writing!
I, too, felt like I was watching a mini movie. So much story packed in! Great job! Sick woman, though.
04/07/08
I love the classic Law & Order episodes: the good ones, the ones with the twists on twists. THIS should have been one of them. (I hope you like L&O and take that as a compliment). Characterization is superb--Ella is evil--though you never 'say so'. Chilling.