The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 693 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
03/14/08
I liked the rambly feel to this--it matched the voice and the MC. Good example of the topic, too.
03/14/08
Love the voice. I can hear this frail old woman telling her story--slipping from present to past and back again.

This part cracked me up: "my tingle generator distributed chills from the back of my newly pierced ears to the tips of my toes, which were stuffed in the highest heels Iíd ever worn." That made me laugh out loud.

Very good writing, and great illustration of the topic.
03/15/08
Oh, how I loved this rambling! Beautifully done memories of what "might have been?" - and from the Title to the end, I was with you all the way! Great entry, magical writing, kept my interest, and a terrific read! Read some phrases I haven't heard in fifty years! Loved it! Kudos! A+!
03/16/08
Great job on this stream-of-consciousness. I enjoyed it very much.
03/16/08
Very nice transitions from the present to the flashback/memories. Great story, great example of the topic. You're a pretty smart whippersnapper yourself! Loved it.
03/16/08
Very nice. I think you caught the now and then rambling of an elderly person very well. Also a great illustration of the topic!
03/16/08
This completely on topic. Such a sad story. The MC's thoughts caused a bit of confusion for me as I read, could just be me though. Keep writing!
03/16/08
You made a very visual sandwich of thoughts and dialogue which gave us all the information we needed to create our own picture of regret. Cleverly done.
So sweet and touching for this topic. Oh the regret, but isn't memory a wonderful thing? Thanks for sharing touching entry.
This story was right on topic. I could picture the elderly woman telling this story to someone at her house or a nursing home.

I got a little bit confused when you first shifted to the flashback dialogue, but I soon figured out what was going on.

Great story. Thank you so much for sharing.
03/19/08
This is so sad!I loved the MC's voice, I could picture her clearly.
03/19/08
Hmmm, so interesting! The voice of your MC is very different, I like the mismatched sort of way that her thoughts hopped around, it made me connect with her. My favorite line was with the chills andn newly pierced ears! A great story! ^_^