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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "Make Hay While the Sun Shines" (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (03/06/08)

TITLE: In Her Mind's Eye
By Mandy White
03/10/08


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“George, don’t you dare!” Maggie shrieked as the cold, salty ocean water splashed against her face.

They hadn’t been to this beach in decades, and the return trip was long overdue.

“You could’ve at least waited until we checked in. Honestly George, splashing around like a child. Look at my hair – and my new hat!”

George roared hysterically at the sight of Maggie standing there suitcase in hand, with her soggy beach hat drooping over her eyes.

“I’m sorry dear. Forgive me?”

“Well, I suppose I don’t really have a choice.” She couldn’t contain her smile.

George took his wife of 40 years by the hand. They strolled leisurely down the shore toward the beachside inn.

“Just a moment, George-” Maggie felt compelled to take in the magnificence of her surroundings, allowing each of her senses its respective delight. Turquoise water lapped against the sugar white sand between her toes. Billowing sails of proud little vessels played against the backdrop of a cloudless, azure sky. Salty ocean air permeated her nostrils as she took a deep, cleansing breath. “It hasn’t changed a bit - still as beautiful as ever.”

******


“I’m glad we decided to walk to dinner. We would have missed a brilliant sky tonight. George, isn’t that the most beautiful moon? And the stars – they put diamonds to shame.”

George pulled Maggie close. He couldn’t help but laugh as she seemed to be taking mental pictures of everything they had encountered that day.

Later that evening, the couple sat on the balcony of their room watching the waves crash onto the shore.

“I don’t know how to thank you for dropping everything and bringing me here, George. You know, the doctor said things would become blurry and gradually grow darker. If I had waited much longer, I don’t know if I would have been able to enjoy these beautiful sights.”

“Well, if you hadn’t agreed to come, I would have drug you here kicking and screaming!”

“Believe me, I know. You almost had to drag me here. I apologize for my behavior after my diagnosis. I was just going to sit in my rocking chair and go blind. You made me realize that I have had the blessing of sight for 65 years. I praise God for that and I’m going to make the most of the time I have left.”

“Maggie, I’m so proud of you. Now let’s get some sleep. We’ve got a big day tomorrow!”

As they settled in for the night, George was just about to turn out the light when he stopped and looked at his sleeping wife. I’ll leave the light on for you, Maggie - just a little while longer.


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This article has been read 595 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Verna Cole Mitchell 03/13/08
This is a beautiful story. I love your wonderful descriptions of the pictures the wife is storing up, and I love the tenderness of her husband. This fits the topic very well.
Holly Westefeld03/14/08
As I go back and review the title, I see that you gave us a clue, but I only connected it afterwords. Your excellent descriptions had me right on the beach with them.
Marilyn Schnepp 03/15/08
Such a Fantastic, beautiful, and touching story - and then the last line...You brought me to tears! I loved this story, "In Her Mind's Eye", such a precious story. Kudos, with a standing ovation!
Jan Ackerson 03/16/08
Lump-in-the-throat excellent.
Lyn Churchyard03/16/08
Oh how beautiful! I just loved the line at the end "I’ll leave the light on for you, Maggie - just a little while longer." What a wonderful relationship this couple have. You have done a superb job with this entry, Mandy.
Shelley Ledfors 03/16/08
An absolutely precious story! What a great picture you painted of the trip, and the lovely couple. A perfect illustration of the topic, too.
Sally Hanan03/17/08
Aw, this was really sweet. Your ending was perfect. Red ink: Don't forget that ellipses are two hyphens from one word to--the--next without spaces.
Debbie Wistrom03/17/08
Thanks for sharing these tender moments. I felt like I was eavesdropping, you put me there. Keep up the good words.
Joshua Janoski03/18/08
"Turquoise water lapped against the sugar white sand between her toes. Billowing sails of proud little vessels played against the backdrop of a cloudless, azure sky. Salty ocean air permeated her nostrils as she took a deep, cleansing breath."

Wow. You have the most amazing way of wording your descriptions like the lines I listed above.

I also loved the last line. A very touching story of lifelong love.

Sara Harricharan 03/19/08
Aww, what a sweet couple! I loved the relationship between them, especially with George leaving the light on for Maggie. That's so sweet and special, it really summed up his character in that one action and made Maggie seem wonderful. Great job! ^_^
Henry Clemmons03/19/08
You sure know how to stir up the emotion; AND write very well. Enjoyed it.
Mariane Holbrook03/21/08
What a tender story. I'm so glad I got to read it because it gives me more insight into your own heart.
You write so well that I am not surprised at your placement though it should have been much higher. I'll watch your entries with interest and will start going back and reading your archived work. What a blessing!
Celeste Ammirata03/23/08
What a beautiful love story. Your descriptions brought the ocean, salty air and the beautiful night sky to life. Great job. You certainly know how to show and not just tell. You are a talented writer. :-)