The Official Writing Challenge
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This was very different. I enjoyed the way you did this, looking at both sides of the coin of making hay while the sunshines. I don't know how you managed to set it out like you did, but it worked a treat! Well done.
03/15/08
I enjoyed the way you spaced out the lines too. As far as the writing, it was missing good vocabulary/better craftsmanship, but your message was good.
Contrasting views of the proverb presented very creatively. Good job.
03/16/08
Karen, I don't think you blew it at all--I love the format, the contrast, the rhythm of this.

I'm thinking...not sure, but what about switching the two scenarios, so that you end with the "good" one?

This is excellent; I've always loved shaped poetry, and this is eye-catching and then heart-catching.
03/16/08
A very creative way to get a great message across. I enjoyed this!
03/16/08
I really like this, Karen, and I'm not a poetry person.

I agree with Jan, I think, about switching the order. But ... maybe not.

Very good example of the topic. And excellent job with the shaped poetry.
I am not into poetry at all-but stayed w/ this one to the end-so it must be good. I agree, I would have switched and ended w/ the positive....very enjoyable read.
03/17/08
Wonderful message and I just love the format! Only suggestion would be to put the positive story second.
03/18/08
I also like "reversing" the stories - I really like it, Karen. Great images, and the shape aspect is very neat.
Outstanding. Thought provoking for sure.
03/18/08
Oh! Sooooo cool!! What's there NOT to like? I love the message, the form, the two sides of both. Wonderful. Really, it's great.