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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "Make Hay While the Sun Shines" (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (03/06/08)

TITLE: Time Taken
By Karen Wilber
03/09/08


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Time
This day
God seen through
Little boy eyes
Sunday School lesson
Let children come to me
Crayon-scribbled Noah’s Ark
Sing me a song about Jesus
I hold his hand as we walk to church
He hops over puddles to preschool class
He points to the cross and says, “Jesus loves me.”
“And I love you, too,” so I tell him each Sunday
Stories of Daniel and David and Joseph
Teach courage and faithfulness unto God
He’s small, but he’ll grow to be mighty
Tell me the story of Jesus
He died and he rose again
“Jesus loves me, mommy.”
“And I love you, too.”
His hand in mine
So glad I
Took the
Time



Time
Someday
God will wait
Weekend errands
Sleep in on Sunday
Push the children away
He’s too small to understand
Perhaps at Christmas, Easter time
Drive past a church, see children laughing
But we have a schedule to keep today
He points to the cross and says, “Who is Jesus?”
“I don’t really know, son.” I tell him we’ll find out
Too busy today, maybe we’ll go next week
Who teaches him courage and faithfulness?
Small boy, grown older, finds himself lost
“Now’s the time,” I say, “Let us go.”
“No thanks,” as he waves goodbye
Does he know I love him?
Too soon he’s grown up
His hand lets go
I wish I’d
Taken
Time




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This article has been read 840 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lyn Churchyard03/13/08
This was very different. I enjoyed the way you did this, looking at both sides of the coin of making hay while the sunshines. I don't know how you managed to set it out like you did, but it worked a treat! Well done.
Sally Hanan03/15/08
I enjoyed the way you spaced out the lines too. As far as the writing, it was missing good vocabulary/better craftsmanship, but your message was good.
Verna Cole Mitchell 03/16/08
Contrasting views of the proverb presented very creatively. Good job.
Jan Ackerson 03/16/08
Karen, I don't think you blew it at all--I love the format, the contrast, the rhythm of this.

I'm thinking...not sure, but what about switching the two scenarios, so that you end with the "good" one?

This is excellent; I've always loved shaped poetry, and this is eye-catching and then heart-catching.
Shelley Ledfors 03/16/08
A very creative way to get a great message across. I enjoyed this!
Sheri Gordon03/16/08
I really like this, Karen, and I'm not a poetry person.

I agree with Jan, I think, about switching the order. But ... maybe not.

Very good example of the topic. And excellent job with the shaped poetry.
Arlene Showalter 03/16/08
I am not into poetry at all-but stayed w/ this one to the end-so it must be good. I agree, I would have switched and ended w/ the positive....very enjoyable read.
Peter Stone03/17/08
Wonderful message and I just love the format! Only suggestion would be to put the positive story second.
Joanne Sher 03/18/08
I also like "reversing" the stories - I really like it, Karen. Great images, and the shape aspect is very neat.
Debbie Wistrom03/18/08
Outstanding. Thought provoking for sure.
Patty Wysong03/18/08
Oh! Sooooo cool!! What's there NOT to like? I love the message, the form, the two sides of both. Wonderful. Really, it's great.