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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "Make Hay While the Sun Shines" (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (03/06/08)

TITLE: Major Heart Surgery
By Marlene Bonney
03/09/08


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Hurry, hurry—what’s the hurry?
Life won’t wait, so I must scurry!
Hurry, hurry, advance quickly!
Get to the top—get there early!”

Hurry, hurry mustn’t relax:
Get on that treadmill—conquer tasks!
Hurry, hurry, do not be late!
Rush through traffic, and trust in fate.

Hurry, hurry, don’t get off track!
Burn my bridges, and don’t look back!
Hurry, hurry ulcers churning,
Work overtime, ever earning!

Hurry, hurry, life spinning fast!
Fatal heart attack wins at last.
Slowly, slowly, life’s pictures flash.
What’s the hurry? My world has crashed.




“What have you accomplished for Me,”
He asked, when all was said and done.
“Where are there any victories—
What have you finished for My Son?”

“Did you love Me above all else,”
He asked, when all was said and done.
“Did you sacrifice selfishness
As your completed race was run?”

“Your deeds were many for yourself,”
He charged, when all was said and done.
“How many were for your Master?
How many were left, not begun?”

“You did not form relationships,”
He charged, when all was said and done.
“Your busy life surely wasted,
Your proud accomplishments, as none.”




Awake, awake, it’s just a dream!
There’s time remaining to redeem!
Awake, awake, filled with His love;
Share it with friends—point them above!

Awake, awake, prepare your heart!
Pray for His leading, as you start!
Awake, awake, all is not lost!
Repent of pride, at any cost!

Awake, awake, it’s a new day!
Trust in God. He will show the way.
Awake, awake, to practice love;
Lead them gently to God above.

“AWAKE, AWAKE, I’VE SEEN WHAT’S TRUE!
I’VE SEEN WHAT I NEED—TO RENEW.
AWAKE, AWAKE, I PRAY HIS LOVE
WILL REFINE ME, HIM MY BELOVED!”


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Member Comments
Member Date
Verna Cole Mitchell 03/14/08
I like the significance of your title and the story that is told through your poem. You have an excellent message in your words.
Holly Westefeld03/14/08
Good expression of the topic. The use of repetition was very effective, as was using a different rhyme scheme for God's comments.
You have carefully used eight syllables in each line. What will further enhance your poetry, is using consistency of meter, which syllables are stressed, and which are not, which will improve the flow of the poem, especially when read aloud.