The Official Writing Challenge
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03/13/08
An actual literal view of father and son making hay while the sun shines! Couldn't have made it any clearer than that! Wow!
This was a clever way to use the proverb. I could feel the boy's tiredness in my own muscles. Well done.
03/14/08
Smooth misdirection...you're pretty sneaky, in a good way! Nice job creating palpable fear--you got a simultaneous groan and laugh out of me at the end!
Man, what a sneaky uderhanded trick that was :)

I was holding my breath, wondering what was coming. What was causing so much terror.

FOUR YEAR OLDS!!! Well, yeah, I can understand their fear. Great story, well done. No extra points for the trickery though.

03/17/08
Oh, I'm so glad to see you back! And you really "got me" with this one...I was thinking, zombies, ghouls, Killer Kittens...and it was 4-year-olds! Arrrrggggh! Great buildup of tension, superb payoff.
03/17/08
Ha! Got me. You KNOW I was expecting vampires! :) Great story, and of course I love the twist. Welcome back.
03/18/08
Great job building up the terror, you definately got me at the end.
03/18/08
I love the build up - who's coming, why are they scared?
AHHH four year olds! Great job!
03/18/08
Ooooh! Yikes! Run for your lives...it's...4 year olds! LOL! This was funny! I liked the suspense you built up and kept as it got to the end. I was waiting for something huge and terrifying. Right. ^_^ A fun read, my only note is the last line seemed a tad bit awkward? Could just be me though. Very funny! ^_^
03/18/08
This was hilarious! I was totally getting the "I Am Legend" vibe, then poof! Four years olds!
Great job...I loved it!
03/18/08
Oh, this is just perfect! I *loved* it. Yes, four year olds can indeed be scary...especially in "packs", LOL! Good illustration of the topic, too. Very well done!
03/18/08
I had a prescription for shock therapy once because of four-year-olds--not really--but I should have.

Great twist--good ending--right on topic--AWESOME!!
03/18/08
Ding, ding, ding! Sarah wins the prize. The last line in fact, was supposed to be deleted. Didn't really hurt matters I guess but it was a bit redundant! :)

Yet--that's how scared I was. LOL