The Official Writing Challenge
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03/07/08
Great story. I enjoyed reading this and liked the note at the end indicating this is about a real situation.
03/07/08
I loved that you showed us and helped us feel her fear and frustration instead of telling us as it would have been easy to do in this story. Enjoyed it!
Great principle and convictiion--great silver lining--great story. I really enjoyed it.
03/11/08
Wow, what a GREAT story! Not many people would stand with that kind of conviction, but what a blessing. Thanks for writing this.
03/11/08
This is wonderful. I felt for Megan, having two little ones of my own. She made me proud!
03/12/08
The message you meant to convey came across loud and clear. Taking a stand and doing what is right is ALWAYS the way to go, even if you don't see a reward as Megan did. From a judge's perspective, there were a couple of bumpy spots - nothing major. The connectivity wasn't quite there for me, I think because the story focuses on the message so much that the character depth of Megan gets lost. There is a lot of telling (Megan walking to the window and wiping her makeup, for instance) but not a lot of heart transparency. Of course, you can't completely give that in 750 words...I don't know if that makes sense to you, but I know you asked for a little more critique and that's what struck me about this piece. But, overall, it's a great story with excellent potential. And, again, your message comes through clearly and is perfectly on topic. :-)
Very constructive comment! Exactly what I needed. Thanks so much. Angel
03/12/08
Excellent, Angela--I thought this was very good at the "showing, not telling" aspect. I really felt as if you got under Megan's skin, and also included a lot of great details to establish the setting.

If I were to red ink it, I'd say that the plot itself isn't as compelling as it might be--a lost job, and a fairly predictable ending.

Your dialogue was particularly well-written.
03/12/08
Now that's conviction! One thing I noticed is an easy fix. When speaking to a person, their name is off-set with a comma. "Morning, Megan." or Megan, would you come in here...

Great reminder for us to stand up for what we believe.
03/13/08
Oooh, I like how your title ties in here. I wished that I'd known a little more about Megan though, her character seemed to want more-lol. Congrats on your EC win! Awesome writing. ^_^
Congratulations on your EC, Angel. You did it!
03/13/08
What an excellent illustration of the topic! I really enjoyed this piece. A huge congratulations on your EC!! I am very happy for you!
03/13/08
Angela -- Super congrats on this!!!!
03/13/08
Congratulations on your EC. This was a very interesting story to read. Good job with the topic.
Great story and congratulation on your EC!
03/13/08
I'm almost GLAD I didn't read this until after it WON, because knowing it is YOUR story makes it even more awesome. Wonderfully done, Angel -a very well-deserved EC. Congrats.
03/13/08
Congratulations, and so wonderful to see God coming through for someone when they stand up for their convictions.
03/19/08
Fantastic! I read it again and chuckled when I read the line "her dream job was gone forever". Then she gets a better job. God must laugh when he knows that we're about to open a present from Him.
So glad she (you ?) stuck to her guns. What conviction, I could use more back bone like this. Thanks for finding a topic to tie this story to.