The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
03/07/08
You've written this story so beautifully, describing what Jochebed MUST have been feeling as she felt she had to hide Moses. You've brought out so many important details in your writing too (it was Moses' cries -- possibly from hunger-- that caused the princess to have compassion -- the same cries that tore at Jochebed's heart) . I love this sentence, "when everything was dark and motionless, fear coincided with her faith." How many times has that happened to us? I like your word choice (which is so remiscient of words of another Deliverer hundreds of years later), "is there any other way...not my will but Yours"?
03/08/08
I feel as if I'd been there with Jochabed, crying in the corner and watching time slowly pass. Wonderful job. This is a great example of the topic!
03/11/08
That paragraph where she thought about how her son might be hungry or soiled really got to me. As the mother of an infant, I don't want to imagine how she must have felt letting her son go. Excellent descriptive writing that drew me in emotionally. Wow.
03/12/08
I felt like I was right there in the middle of this story. Great job capturing the MC's thoughts.
03/12/08
What a beautiful re-telling of this Bible story. It truly brought tears to my eyes. And it is a great way to illustrate the topic!
03/12/08
Wonderful, descriptive writng. You put me right there and I worried that the moonlight might expose her as she held her babe. Nice job.
03/12/08
Jochebed comes to life here. I love this close up on her and what must have happened as she made that hard decision. It's so real and I loved the bit on Miriam's return, how she laughed. That was neat. Great job. ^_^
03/12/08
Lynda, this was my favorite Bible story from this week. As others have commented, you drew me right in to her heart.
03/12/08
This has always been one of my favorites. I love this take on it. Perfect for the topic!
03/12/08
Just wonderful, Lynda, and welcome back--you've been missed! This is such a perfect story for this week, and you've added so many wonderful details.

Maybe--think about a different title? It's very modern-sounding, and doesn't seem to match the setting of your story.
03/12/08
Ah, Faith in a Basket, Faith Floats, Secret of the Nile. A great life's breath into this wonderful Bible account. Your writing is very touching. Masterful for sure.
03/12/08
This is one of my favorite bible stories and you told it beautifully. I was absolutely enraptured and glued to each word. For someone who has been "gone" for a long time, you sure hide it well. This was exquisite.
03/12/08
Awesome, I love it! We picked different parts of the same story to tell this week. :-) There were a couple of minor spots where you had an overabundance of adjectives (imho), but otherwise superbly written.
03/13/08
Just EXCELLENT, Lynda - I feel like I REALLY got to know Jochebed (and I'm glad I didn't pick this Biblical account for my own story this week - you definitely would have outshone me ;). Excellent.
03/13/08
Lynda, I loved your retelling of this story. You made it so real I could feel a mothern's grief and a father's stoic acceptance and giving up a child. Great writing.
03/13/08
****Congratulations on your EC!**** Awesome writing!
03/13/08
Congratulations on your EC. Your writing is so beautiful--wonderful storytelling.
03/13/08
This is incredibly beautiful. Capturing not only the story, but giving such a picture of the emotions involved...your EC is so well deserved!
03/13/08
Lynda -- Congrats! (on placing with this)!! I've loved it since first reading it.
03/13/08
Great story! It reminds me a bit of the version of this biblical story that I wrote awhile back--only yours is much better! ^_^ Congrats on your win!
03/20/08
You made this story fresh to me with your emotions and word pictures. Wonderful!
12/22/08
Thank you for contributing to the substance of these characters Jechobed, Amram, little Miriam and baby Moses; Your story has served to show how much of their characters we take for granted.

The Lord’s divine will manifested because they were willing and had the faith, not without fears, not without pain, agony and grief. But yet and still enough faith to “Let Go and Let God”.

Thank you for bringing these emotions so beautifully to the forefront of this story: Sensitive and compelling.