The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 801 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
If this is true, you are truly blessed. Either way great way of telling a sad but heartlifting story. Keep up the good words.
03/07/08
I admire anyone who can write a poem! I have no ability here at all!This seemed to me, however, like the potential lyrics of a song.
03/07/08
Begins with emotion and pain, and ends with emotion and blessing. Moving piece.
03/08/08
I loved this! If it was true, what a powerful story. If it is fiction, what a powerful storyteller.. the words were just right to pierce my heart and make me think, praise God and reflect. Good work... Loved it...
Your poem reveals just enough of the story in each stanza, and the repetition holds it all together like glue. Well done.
03/12/08
Wonderful poem...I loved it.
03/12/08
This is great! I loved the choppy sort of feel to it that gave urgency to the poem. The title of white blurs and how it plays in with the rest of this was great. You did well! ^_^
03/12/08
The structure of this poem is magnificent, with the repetition that unifies each stanza, and the pacing that feels just like the surreal events as they're unfolding. Wow.

One tiny thing--"legs" should not have an apostrophe. Oops.

This is really a masterpiece, and I'm privileged to have read it.
Powerful, bold, riveting. This is very well done.
03/12/08
Very well done - the meter is just right, and I love the use of repetition and the wonderful storytelling. Very moving.
03/12/08
Oh. my. What a story--a very vivid story unfolded here. I felt like I was seeing the flashes of light...great job.
I love the way you wrote this poem. It's so realistic. I love the rhythm Great job.