Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "Every Dark Cloud has a Silver Lining" (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (02/28/08)

TITLE: THE PREDICTABILITY OF LILY BETH
By Rebecca O'Connor
02/29/08


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

[7:30 AM] Lily Beth opened her eyes to the blurry sight of color. The sun should not be this bright so early, she thought aiming her vision toward her little alarm…THAT DID NOT GO OFF! Jumping out of the tangled mess of bedcovers, she tripped into the bathroom to see what the mirror would tell. One look told her that she was not the fairest in the land…and what was that bump sticking out of the side of her head? She had never seen a hair bump so big. Every time she pushed it down it seemed to rebel and get larger. “I don’t have time for this, Lord. What are you doing to me?” It is a “ponytail day” she assessed as she frantically searched for anything that would hold her massive mane.
So went her morning in the fast lane speeding to catch up. This was not a typical day for Lily. Lily, you see, was precise, punctual and perfectly organized until today. Lily did not actually realize how very predictable she had become down through the years, probably because she had not made that notation in her day planner. Lily’s life was written in that planner. She had also not made time for the spot on her blouse of which she had just become aware making a mad dash back inside to change. Finally all put together, she rushed to her car puzzling over a quicker route to work and skipping the thought of her usual Starbuck’s battery charge.
It was too bad that Lily Beth was not more observant for all her perfection, for there in the shadows was a figure lurking. He had been watching Lily’s every move and was aware of her predictability for some time now. This vague shadow had entered her life without invitation or knowledge. Lily thought the worst thing in her day was being late. She had no imagination of the dark thoughts that waited for her predictable return home.

[6:45 PM] “What a day this has been! Lord, you really did get me through this morning with all my meetings and I forgot to thank you…Thank you! I surely did not make room for you in my schedule did I, Lord? Sorry for the way I snapped at you this morning.” Lily could not wait to get shoes off her tired feet and a long, hot bath. Just another five miles until she would be home and right on schedule. It was perfect end for such a late start this morning. But what was that wobbly feeling she wondered, hoping it wasn’t what she thought. “Oh, Lord, please don’t let this be a flat tire!” Lily could not believe this could happen too. She began to think about recanting her “thank you, Lord”, but stopped short on that vein remembering she had not replaced her spare. “Who am I, Lord? This is not my life. I never forget anything.” The tire was indeed flat! It took Lily a few moments of silence on a side road contemplating her next move. The Lord knew she did not like things out of the ordinary. She would not be home at all on time! Anxiety began to creep into her secure little world. Lily was going to have to walk alone in the dark for several blocks. She held fast her trust in the Lord as she walked reciting the 23 Psalm. The thought of going through the back door terrified her, but since the morning’s rush she left the house keys on the front table. She would need the key under the back door mat.
Finally, through the door and safe! Off came the shoes. The bath would wait until her heart calmed from this disastrous day. Calmness did not have time to take effect, for a dark streak that crossed her window knocking over the potted plant on the patio started the palpitations all over again. Lily was unclear how much time elapsed from that ruckus until the revolving lights of a police car and a knock at her door. A tall officer related the story of a shadowy figure lurking about and a neighbor’s phone call to his dispatcher. After her bath, she heard on the news of the serial rapist that had been captured. What a day!

[10:10 PM] As Lily crawled wearily into bed she prayed for a more predictable day tomorrow. The Lord smiled knowing He would be ready for Lily's new day.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 585 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Debbie Wistrom03/07/08
Oh how He works for our good, if we just open out eyes. Thanks for the vision of Lily Beth, I don't think I'll forget her for some time.
Shirley McClay 03/07/08
I've often wondered if some of the frustrating things that happen are to protect us but we don't usually have any way of knowing for sure most of the time. This is a time when she did find out! yeah!

It helps us as readers if you separate your paragraphs. Another tip that was given to me to to show us instead of tell us.. ie.. more dialogue.. more of her actual thoughts.

I really liked the drama and the scary storyline! It sounds like a book a would pick up to read.
LauraLee Shaw03/07/08
Yes, Lily is quite the character and you painted her personality well. This line made me chuckle: It is a “ponytail day” she assessed as she frantically searched for anything that would hold her massive mane.
I've certainly said that a time or two... :)