The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/29/08
Very scary. Great title for this piece.

I was distracted by the lack of punctuation in several of the opening sentences. Also I thought the person talking at the beginning was an older daughter talking to her mother about taking her 8-year-old to a sleepover. I understood it better at the end.

I LOVE the way you had Serena walking out at the end, SHOWING her mother that she could keep her word. This would make an EXcellent example for Christian teens, especially having her talk about Christ being the only One to follow.
03/03/08
I can see the topic but the dialogue between the girls was not very believeable for the average eight year olds. Good take on topic though.