The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 737 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
02/29/08
This is absolutely heart-breaking. What a cycle to be in, but oh how many are trapped in it. I thought of this scenario when I saw the topic, because isn't that just the way it is with an abuser? All words, no action. Well except for the angry words. Anyway, I hope the happy ending continued on and that the woman was safe after that.
03/01/08
Well-written piece. Hopefully it will spur someone to seek help for a similar situation.
Why do women wait so long? I have never understood it. But, then, I have never faced this problem. Good story.
03/03/08
Great job! I loved this! You captured the voice of the woman perfectly. I'm so glad you allowed your MC to walk away.
You made the situation so clear that I was able to share the MC's fear of her abuser. I was so glad for her to end the relationship. I loved how the title summed up the story.
03/03/08
Perfect title, amazing descriptions. Such a frighteningly vivid story. Wow.
I loved her final strength. Well done and heart felt, keep it up.
03/03/08
Oh, this is heartbreaking and terrible! Well, I mean "terrible" in a good way, because the writing is superb.
03/03/08
The more I read, the angrier I got — in this case, that's a good thing — you made me feel, and that the sign of good writer.
You captured the thoughts of the MC beautifully. The utter feeling of hopelessness and not being able to bring yourself to leave. I wanted to take his crutch and give him a few whacks with it. Well done!
03/03/08
Powerful. I've known this woman, but she did not leave her fiance. Unlike your MC I don't think she really knew she had a choice even with friends and coworkers willing to help. This was well written. Thanks for the happy ending.
03/05/08
I'm not sure I would call that a happy ending. But, life isn't always about happy endings. Very well written.
03/05/08
You had me from the title, and you never disappointed. This was amazing writing and an all too real account I bet too many can relate to. Very well done.
To think this kind of abuse sickens me. Your writing shows that women/men/children can escape from it. More articles like this should be written to show those caught in the web of seemingly hoplessness that there is a way out. You've showed a way to start that first step. Bravo!
03/05/08
Wow! and ouch--excellent written. This story reads like a chapter from a very good book...hmmmm...I wonder what happened in the previous chapter(s)...and in the next chapters?! It's just an idea!
03/05/08
Wow. What a phenomenal, POWERFUL story. Though is was sad through to the end, justice prevailed. Loved it!
I have known many young girls and women who have gone through the exact same struggle. The abuser always ends up sweet talking them to try and lure them back in. Things go fine for a while, and then the beatings start again. Some have walked away, but I know a few who continue to stay and take the abuse.

Your story is not only important for this week's challenge, but it is also important for women who need to know that there is a way out. Thank you for sharing this important piece of writing.
03/05/08
My heart breaks every time I read a story about abuse. I'm glad this girl made the decision to leave. Good writing!
Wow. I won't offer you a rose but will an "I'm sorry you had to go through that" be ok? What courage it took to finally leave and even more, to recognize where to find that true love. And I'm sorry but my righteous indignation is flaring. Ironic that it took an injury on him to get the abuse to stop. Serves him right. xoxox
03/06/08
This gave me goosebumps. I really felt for your MC, I wanted so badly to give her a hug and find a way to take her out of that situation. I'm glad that she did give the roses-and the engagement ring back. She didn't need that. Good job. Powerful last lines. ^_^
I wish this had won. It deserved to. You're the best!
03/06/08
From the title to the last line, this is a gripping story. Well done, friend!