The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/28/08
Oh dear! I've had some experience with pastors like this one and it is disappointing, to say the least. Good characterization and dialogue. I like the ending sentence especially-sums him up nicely!
02/29/08
Good story and a great last line.
03/01/08
Ha! I love that you withheld the minister’s name “Doolittle” till the end. (a perfect name for him) What fun! I enjoyed the humor that shines through this and kept wondering what would happen next. You're right on topic. Thanks for writing this.
03/02/08
What a great story--I love this character!

Try to avoid frequently used phrases--walking on air, over the moon, try a new tack--you're an excellent writer who can easily come up with brand new ways to express these thoughts that will delight your readers with their originality. In my revising and editing process, I always try to read through my piece once just with an eye for anything I may have heard or read before--and I get rid of them!

I wonder how many churches have master delegators like that--so pitiful! I enjoyed this very much.

03/02/08
Perfect ending.
03/03/08
Great zinger in your last line! Loved this! Good job with the topic!
03/03/08
A little tightening in the overall mechanics of this piece and a better working title and this definitely will be a winner.
Good story. Now I realize why the title had blanks!