Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Win A Publishing Package HERE            

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: birthday (05/23/05)

TITLE: It's Her Birthday and I'll Cry if I Want To
By Linda Germain
05/30/05


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Sister Mary Teresa was the one who introduced Carrie Malone and Delores Gouge. It was the first day of third grade.

“Delores dear,” she cooed in a voice never heard in math class, “Carrie is a new student. You’ll be her buddy while she learns the routine. Be sure she sits with you at lunch.”

Carrie stood quietly, waiting for instructions from her young and rather dumpy looking mentor. They wore identical uniforms but Delores seemed all wrinkled and buttoned wrong. The newcomer looked bandbox fresh and very put together. Her hair ribbon matched the regulatory plaid skirt. In sharp contrast, Delores held her fizzy mop back with a plain bobby pin.

The seeds of a lifelong friendship were planted. From that day, and for thousands more, the frumpy child would never stop trying to achieve perfection.

During the growing up years Carrie remained a sensible, quiet beauty; a brunette with blue eyes and a sweet smile. Delores spent much experimentation time, some of it on every style and color of hair. Once, she even bought a synthetic wig. It blew off in a March windstorm right in front of George Dooney. Delores simply scooped it up and winked at poor George. He never forgot.

Carrie’s family were loving but of modest means. Delores had no parents. She inherited a fortune from her grandfather. When she was sixteen she read what she called her “life plan” to her best friend.

“Now listen to this,” she began with no little import, “ you are the first witness to my future milestones.

Carrie had genuine interest in her rather bohemian friend’s goals.

“Every year, before my birthday, I am going to do something outstanding to improve myself. I can’t have plastic surgery yet, but after I am twenty-one I can do as I please”

Carrie’s brow creased. She was a little perplexed about this life plan.

“For example,” Delores continued as she flounced over to the big mirror and began to fluff her new permanent, “before next year I am going to a mineral springs spa with Aunt Flora and we will have mud packs and drink cucumber and carrot juice.”

“Why?”

Delores struck a pose. Well, Carrie-Berry, it is supposed to do fantastic things for your pores and your insides.

All Carrie could think of to say was, “Really?” It seemed a little silly to her.

Every year the self-improvement reports became more unbelievable and expensive. Delores even traveled to a mountaintop to see some weird guru fellow, and then she had her nose fixed. She tried to be a vegetarian but her weakness was cheeseburgers.

Carrie never forgot to telephone Delores on her birthday. She always began the conversation, “What did you do this year?”

Their friendship, even long distance, was full of laughter. Carrie married a good man and had a lovely family. She tried to tell DeDe about the Lord, but her witnessing fell on deaf ears.

Delores never married. She always had boyfriends. Every few years she would drop in on Carrie and wow her with the latest surgical changes to her standard issue shape. There was always something else to lift, plump, or smoothe.

Still, she refused to hear about Jesus. “I have it all, why do I need a crutch?”

After many decades, Carrie was a loving grandmother; Delores was still flitting from man to man and spending money .Her skin looked like plastic.

The day before this year’s birthday call, the phone rang.

“Carrie?” Delores was sobbing.

“DeDe, what’s wrong?”

“I’m dying. Please come” That’s all she said.

Carrie went.

Delores was in a big city hospital in a town where she owned a penthouse. Standing over the bed, holding the hand of the gasping woman, Carrie suddenly became very forceful and serious. She raised her voice.

“You listen to me Delores Magdalena Gouge !” I am telling you that when you die, your spirit will keep living somewhere, so girl it is now time to fish or cut bait!”

Delores tried to laugh. "I did Carrie. Oh, I did!” Then she closed her eyes.

At the funeral, the talk was about how gorgeous Delores looked to be such an old lady. Carrie was stunned that no mention was made of any inner beauty. She stood by the farewell box that held her best friend’s perfect old body.

No one heard her whisper, “Happy NEW BIRTH day DeDee.”


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 900 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Karen Deikun05/30/05
This was a good story. It held my interest and left me wanting to know more about how Delores came to the Lord. Loved the descriptions of the two girls in the beginning.
Sharon Cleveland05/31/05
This story gives encouragement to never give up sharing the message of eternal life. In the space age, we always want instant results. Sometimes we have to wait for the answer.
darlene hight06/03/05
This is a great story. Loved your description 'Band box fresh' was a favorite. It really begs to be made into a longer piece with more detail to how she came to the Lord and maybe some of the dialogue at the funeral. Heck....Why not start another novel? That's what ends up happening with all my fiction challenge pieces. LOL
Suzanne R06/03/05
I love the concept of the lifelong friendship of two such different people, and the climax of Delores coming to faith on her deathbed was such a relief! Your descriptions are great. I could just see these two girls / women. The sadness of the lack of talk about her 'inner beauty' sums up the futility of striving for bodily perfection but neglecting the inner beauty. Well done!
Amy Michelle Wiley 06/04/05
I was sure I commented on this peice earlier in the week! Anyway. . . :-)

What a good friend Carrie was. A good reminder of what is important in life.
Nancy Hardy06/06/05
A friendship we can all learn from. You touch the heart of the reader... IMHO, a gift bestowed on few. Great job!!
Val Clark06/06/05
A well told, heartwarming story.