The Official Writing Challenge
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What way to nail the topic!
Simply written, with stage directions and everything ... to give us a drama of the topic. This was so creative and I, for one, would never have thought of the unique idea! The title ... PERFECT and meaningful.
02/29/08
Kudos—this is superb.
03/01/08
Oh wow. This is right on and so poignant. What an illustration!
03/02/08
My goodness, this is brilliant. I could picture the whole scene, and I was moved to tears. Masterful. Anointed.
03/02/08
WOW! I would love to see this acted out... very convincing and convicting.
03/02/08
Excellent story. I could picture it clearly.
03/03/08
Still one of my fav.s Jan. I hope David Ian picks it up and goes with it. His 'Muse' sent him over so I hope he listens. ;)

I think this should be a drama skit in every church. (don't think the pastors would appreciate it but ... if the shoe fits ... ) ;)
03/03/08
No Jan, you didn't blow it! This is so unique! I love the mental images you create with this. A wonderful picture of walking our talk.
03/03/08
Never have I read anything so vivid. Your descriptions had me sitting on the front row on the edge of my seat.

Wonderful job!
03/03/08
The tone was perfectly matched to the story--I could feel the silence and the stark aloneness and despair of Alone. Super!!
03/03/08
This was incredible...I absolutely loved it!
03/03/08
This is beautiful! Sometimes I feel like this actress:) and then I have many "Hearts" who come break down my walls for me. You've struck a chord today in me, my dear friend.
Laury
03/03/08
My name has been Alone before. Very well written. Grabs at the heart strings.
03/03/08
I read this earlier, but couldn't think of words to describe how it made me feel. It's so stark and simple, but deep with meaning and emotion. Wonderful writing from a talented mind.
I'm speechless. Just totally speechless. I was so immersed in the drama of this that I don't know, don't care if there were any places where it needed polishing up. What I wouldn't give to see this performed! You have such a gift but I fear you don't begin to realize how great it is.
Great imagery. I could see everything, and felt as if I was there. Two thumbs up!
03/03/08
Brilliant concept. I had a little trouble at first figuring out whether this was a story or stage directions for a drama. Then I 'got' that it was a drama.

This would be very powerful set to the right music playing in the background.
[My college group did an almost wordless drama of the story of the woman caught in adultery with "You are so Beautiful" sung by Joe Cocker playing in the background. It was heart-stopping-even changed the meaning of that song for me.]

Hmmm. I'll be thinking about this one for awhile. Does Preacher need the 'clownish smile'? Or does that put him 'over the top' and not possibly apply to me. ;-)

03/03/08
I'm back because I think this is excellent and I want to clarify my comment. I see that people identify with "Alone" and with "Heart". I think what would take this up a notch is to make us squirm a bit to identify with "Preacher" too. That's why I question the clown smile. But I can also identify this as 'me' painting on a smile and not being real. It would depend on how the actor played it, and the director directed it. I like a drama that has a little squirm along with the feel good.

Just a thought--as I sit here acting this out in front of my computer.
03/03/08
Heartfelt and wonderfully written! Applause!
NO you didn't blow this at all. My only red ink would be to not use "pantomime", just let us get it on our own, which is so easy becasue you did all this soooo well. This needs to be produced. I would love to see it, especially if I didn't know it. I could "hear" the silence. I will stop now, but there is so much I want to say, but feel unworthy. THANKS!!
03/04/08
Brilliant, Jan. I could absolutely picture this so vividly. Moving.
Just fantastic. I could see it all unfold in its beauty before me. It would be so easy to use as a drama for teens or to introduce a sermon--so very many places this powerfully simple drama would fit.
This was utterly brilliant! What a great play to do for church or youth group. Jan you never cease to amaze me!!
To me, this was written in the style of say Satre or Samuel Bennet ("Waiting for Godot") though not existinonal, certainly deep and thought provoking. Which, in my humble opinion, makes this so special.
A totally unique approach to this week's topic. I agree with everyone else - I want to see this acted out on a stage.
03/05/08
Brilliant drama!
03/05/08
Brought tears to my eyes. I really liked this. I could sympathize with Alone and I was glad that Heart came to help...and befriend her. Awesome writing. ^_^
03/05/08
Such a beautiful way to show the Holy Spirit setting someone free from a prison they've built for themselves. Awesome!
03/06/08
I love the title. Wonderful illustration of the topic. Very convicting on how we present the gospel to hurting people.
03/06/08
***Congratulations, Aunt Jan!*** Awesome writing! ^_^
03/06/08
Congratulations on your EC, Jan. As always, masterful writing, and very creative. Outstanding illustration of the topic.
I love it! Another excellent work of art from your pen, Jan!