The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
03/01/08
Good example of teenagers bailing out for something better.


03/01/08
Commitment is a hard lesson to learn. Hopefully, Amy will change her habits as she vows to do.
03/01/08
Oh, those teenagers! I'm glad that you didn't make Amy horrid, just irresponsible.

I wish you'd showed us Amy's reaction upon hearing that her grandmother fell, instead of telling us. The ending just seemed a little bit too neat and "wrapped up." Oh, and check the title: you wanted "Careless", not "Carless."

I like the attitudes of both the mother and the grandmother in this story.
03/01/08
I enjoyed Amy’s story and was glad she learned her lesson. The poor grandma (waiting and then falling while doing the work herself.) Amy’s actions definitely were directly opposite of her words (in the beginning). This is a nice story to illustrate the topic.
03/03/08
Whose voice is this? In other words who is the POV? The dialogue was a little stilted and vaguely on topic. I say vaguely because I may clean homes not because I love the people but I am following thru with a commitment and I will be paid. I know that sometimes proofreading is time consuming but it is a must especially for the title. Keep writing.