The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
03/01/08
Unique entry--we don't often see all-2nd-person stories, and in many ways I enjoyed this approach.

But take a look at the percentage of questions that begin with "You..." It's the same problem that some people have when they write in 1st person, and every sentence begins with "I..." After a while, the reader's eyes begin to skip over anything predictable, and you never want a reader to skip over your excellent writing!

I love the forgiveness evidenced here...very nice.
03/01/08
Your writing contains a lot of wisdom. This really caught my attention, “To not forgive keeps you in prison. I like your “change my heart” message in your entry. Your writing is very convicting. Nicely done.
03/07/08
Ah, to be truly home again. I liked how you showed the change of heart.
My favorite lines were with the paragraph where you were holding onto to dignity-but losing your peace. Isn't that so true when we hold onto things that we really ought to let go?
The ending, of course, was my favorite! I really liked the line with the best china and buying a special centerpiece.
Great job-especially for tackling the proverb from this POV. ^_^
03/15/08
This could be linked togeter with the "Storm Clouds Brewing" story, I think. Good messages in both for all of us.
Interesting use of 2nd person. I wonder if that could include a dialogue with the Holy Spirit though? The Voice of the story certainly sounds like Him - that still, small voice.
03/15/08
I forgot to say that my favourite line was: "Dinner tonight will be his favorite."
But then, I'm a bloke.