The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/28/08
What a beautiful poem. Sweet and sad at the same time. It brings memories of my own life.
02/29/08
You’ve created a beautiful picture with your first paragraph using sight, sound, absence of sound, and smell. I also appreciated the mention of the “bread rose, as did we”. I’ve never heard the phrase “hug of heat” but I like it. I’m sure there are volumes behind this phrase, “ Schools, colleges, loopholes, universities and life pulled us apart.” (especially the “loopholes”. Then your description of your mother, “waiting for God’s call…” is beautiful. Very nice work on this.

So beautifully crafted! You've woven a poem that captures the sense of intimacy and loss as this dear mother's life is ending. Wonderful images!
You handled the week's topic beautifully. Wonderful imagery in a very tender tribute!