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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "Don't Cut off Your Nose to Spite Your Face" (without using the actual phrase or litera (02/14/08)

TITLE: The People vs. Thaddeus T. Wolfe
By Laurie Walker
02/20/08


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Voices rumbled throughout the courtroom, accompanied by a rapping from the judge’s gavel. “That’s enough,” he demanded, his booming voice rising above all others. As things quieted he turned to the defendant.

“Am I to understand you’re pleading guilty?” he asked.

Thaddeus T. Wolfe nervously pawed the noose, uh, tie around his neck and turned toward the judge. “Your Honor, I admit to the things they accuse me of, but not for the reasons they claim.”

Several cries of outrage erupted in the courtroom. Once again the gavel, coupled with a grave look from the judge, demanded silence.

“Interesting. Go on Mr. Brooks. I’m sufficiently intrigued.”

Mr. Brooks, defense lawyer extraordinaire, hid a slight smile with a brief, thoughtful-looking rub of his chin. “Mr. Wolfe. Would you please explain your side of the story?”

Thaddeus leaned forward. A glitter of anger flashed between his eyes and even hit one tooth as he sunk into his tale.

“I live close to the edge of the forest and own several acres of surrounding land, including a portion of the field just west of the village.”

Mr. Brooks jumped into action, retrieving a form. “Defense enters Exhibit A, a map of Mr. Wolfe’s land.” He then nodded for Thaddeus to continue.

“Several months ago I noticed sheep grazing on my land. I warned their owner he was trespassing.”

“And who would this owner be?”

“That boy there,” Thaddeus said, pointing to a young man sitting in the front row. “The next day he was right back on my land, this time playing a prank on some of the village people by crying out ‘wolf!’ Once again I warned him off, but he didn’t listen. For three days this went on, until I finally decided he really should have a reason to cry ‘wolf.’ So I ate the sheep. Needless to say he hasn’t trespassed since then.”

The boy blushed furiously, unable to look at the judge when asked, “Is this true?”

“Yes your Honor,” he squeaked.

Mr. Brooks coughed a bit to hide his chuckle before turning back to the defendant. “Let’s move on to the next part of the story, Mr. Wolfe.”

Thaddeus, a little more relaxed than before, eyed three individuals huddled on one chair.

“About a month later there were things missing from my land: bails of hay from my barn, sticks I use for kindling, and even bricks from an old house I mean to renovate.”

As he mentioned each missing item Mr. Brooks pulled out pictures of his barn, woodpile, and the building in question.

“One night I decided to hide out and watch. That’s when I saw those three,” he pointed to the thieves, “sneaking in and taking my stuff. I tried to approach them the next day. I just wanted my things back, but they wouldn’t even open their doors. So I blew the first two houses down and took the hay and sticks back. I’m still trying to figure out how to retrieve the bricks.”

The three wrongdoers squealed a ‘yes’ when the judge asked them if it was true.

Mr. Brooks tried to keep his face grave at the second triumph. “And what about the last event?”

Thaddeus shuddered at the memory, his whiskers twitching. “That was the worst by far. I watched with my own eyes as Ms. Hood picked some of my best flowers for her granny without even asking. I wanted to teach her a lesson. So I disguised myself as her granny and tried to scare her. Unfortunately I was almost killed by that woodsman who just happened to be passing by.”

“Do you mean you never tried to eat Ms. Hood nor her granny?”

“Of course not. I’m a vegetarian!”

The judge looked toward the little girl in red. “Did Mr. Wolfe really try to eat you?”

Ms. Hood ran from the room crying, her red cape waving goodbye. Thaddeus’ chest puffed just a bit. Surely he’d be found innocent now.

The judge turned to Thaddeus. “Mr. Wolfe, what you did was very wrong. It’s true you were wronged and I understand you were looking for justice, but you crossed a line by taking things into your own hands.”

“But –”

“No Mr. Wolfe. There are proper legal channels to go through when it comes to these instances. I’m obligated to sentence you to one year in a pound, and fined $500.”

The judge smacked his gavel on the desk. “Court adjourned!”


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This article has been read 845 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Shirley McClay 02/21/08
LOL... Lighthearted, hilarious, very creative, and right on topic. Nicely done!
Seema Bagai 02/22/08
A funny story. Your POV is creative. I enjoyed reading this.
Joy Faire Stewart02/22/08
This was a delight. Loved it and on topic.
Beth LaBuff 02/22/08
Excellent writing! I love it! Your combination of several fairy tales into a new story is so creative. I had to smile at the wolf claiming to be a vegetarian, then the judge sentencing him to the pound. :) You'll have to add this to the thread of children's stories on the message board.
Jan Ackerson 02/24/08
Love it, love it, love it! I've done a few of these fractured fairy tales myself, and they're so much fun to read! This is priceless.
Sara Harricharan 02/26/08
RFOL! This is just too funny! I love the lightheartedness of this piece. You kept the humor fresh on this old story and I really liked how you linked together more than one story/fairy tale. Now when I see the big bad wolf, I may always think of Thaddeus T. Wolfe. ^_^ Very clever take on the topic, the ending was cute with Red Riding hood running away, her cape waving goodbye. ^_^
Karen Wilber 02/26/08
I love this. I wish I'd written it. :-D
I especially enjoyed how you wove the different wolf stories together. Fun, entertaining, and an engaging, readable style.

[But, I don't think they'd buy the "vegetarian" argument after he just said he'd eaten the sheep.]
Debbie Wistrom02/26/08
Thanks for the hint or I may have missed this one. What a fun read.
Lyn Churchyard02/26/08
I didn't guess who Thaddeus was until he admitted blowing the two houses down. Oh this was very clever. Very, very clever. Well done!!
Holly Westefeld02/26/08
This was a fun read.
It was interesting to see that Mr. Wolf decided to become a vegetarian sometime after eating the sheep. :-)
Sally Hanan02/27/08
Very clever :) If you'd had room, you could have added in his wife's story (The Wolf and the Seven Little Kids). Nice descriptions.
Loren T. Lowery02/27/08
This is so inventive and creative and fun. What a great read, and a telling of the "rest of the story". You did a great job keeping the tone light and tongue-in-cheek humor at the perfect fairy tale level.
william price02/27/08
So much fun to read. Excellent job. Extremely clever and well presented. God bless.
Pam Carlson-Hetland02/27/08
Loved this! How very creative and such a fun read. Absolutely excellent. Great job.
LauraLee Shaw02/28/08
Congratulations on your EC! Well done!
Sara Harricharan 02/28/08
***Congratulations!*** I'm so glad to see this up here-awesome writing! ^_^
Sheri Gordon02/28/08
Congratulations on your EC. This is very funny. I especially liked the part about him being a vegetarian. Too funny. Great job.
Edy T Johnson 02/28/08
Congratulations, dear Laurie! First place couldn't happen to a nicer person.

Such a delightful and creative story, this deserves to be an illustrated storybook. I'm sure my grandbabies would love it.
Catrina Bradley 02/28/08
This is so much fun, and extremely creative. Congratulation, Laurie!!