Home Tour About What's New Help Forums Join Login My Account Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
I
Need A
Savior
301
  

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "Don't Cut off Your Nose to Spite Your Face" (without using the actual phrase or litera (02/14/08)

TITLE: Blistering Pranks
By Rita Garcia
02/20/08


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

My brother had a way of making me so mad, like throwing a rock in the pond and causing rings and rings of ripples. His “pranks” are what my mom called them; I called it plain and simple meanness. Sometimes it made me want to hurt him, in the worst way. I’m talking foot stomping, turning red in the face mad. But what he did the summer before our first year of high school was the pinnacle of his ‘pranks’, and let me tell you, it created ripples throughout our family. Of course, as I remember it, it centered on me, not him. Oh, did I tell you we’re twins?

Mom was quick to make her frustration known. “Bethanne, you can’t walk to school.”

I was determined to keep my promise, the one I made to myself. “I won’t ride in the same car with him.” With my resolve at an all-new level, I headed out the door.

“Bethanne, be reasonable it … it’s a two mile walk.” Mom called from the end of our driveway.

I had only walked a few blocks when my brand new ‘flats’ begin to rub the back of my feet. When the school finally came into view I felt like dancing, if only my feet could have moved enough to do so. The trip to school was like a gentle wind compared to the walk home. At one point I did get smart and remove my shoes.

The comforting smell of fresh baked cookies, and Mom were waiting for me when I eventually made it home. One look at my mom started the tears. “This is so unfair. He was the stupid one, and look at my feet.”

She sat me at the kitchen table and knelt down as she wiped my feet, and placed band-aids on the bleeding blisters. “Lessons can be hard on us. You can’t let your temper get the better of you.”

My eyes opened in shock. “My temper? What about him? He’s made me a laughing stock and a pariah at school.”

“Your father and I gave him a strong lecture.”

“You … you lectured him? That’s it? Look at my feet. This is his fault.” I no longer wanted one of the cookies Mom had set on the table. “Mom, think about it. My friends came for a sleep over: an end-of-summer party. I didn’t invite them over to be humiliated by him.”

She sat in the chair across from me. “That wasn’t his intention, honey he … he didn’t think it through. You’re probably the only one who is still upset. I’m sure your friends have forgotten about it.”

I wanted to smack my head and make sure I had really heard her right. “Forgotten about it? Most of them are barely speaking to me. He embarrassed us. Mom, he placed a tape recorder under my bed and recorded everything we talked about. If that wasn’t bad enough, he played it for his friends.”

Mom poured herself a cup of coffee. “I know, sweetie. It was a terrible thing for him to do.”

“We’ll let me tell you what you don’t know. He played it for Phillip. Phillip heard me telling all my friends how cute he is and how much I like him. I could absolutely die.”

Mom took my hand. “You can’t be ruining your feet. You’re not punishing him, you’re hurting yourself.”

I got up from the table. “I won’t ride in the same car with him if I … I have to crawl to school.” I felt betrayed by feet as I hobbled to my room.

A tap on my door interrupted my concentration on my math. The door opened and there stood Ricky.

“Get out. Now.” I threw my pencil against the wall.

“Not before I tell you how sorry I am.” He sat on my bed.

“Take your sorry with you and leave.” The tears streamed.

“I didn’t listen to the tape before I played it for the other guys. It was really dumb. I was just messing around and I guess I knew it would make you mad, but I didn’t realize it would embarrass you and your friends like it did. The guys and I thought it would be funny.”


Ricky and I made up. My feet healed, and here I am, twenty years later, married to Phillip and have still never heard the end of it. Okay, I confess … they have never heard the end of it.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 507 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Joy Faire Stewart02/22/08
That was a mean trick by her brother! Excellent example for topic and I enjoyed the ending.
Sherry Castelluccio 02/22/08
Cute ending! I guess all things really do work for the good, don't they? Great story.
Beth LaBuff 02/22/08
Ah -- I love your ending. The suspense you built in the first paragraph was very good...and then "Did I tell you we were twins?" just heaped up the intrigue. I really enjoyed your light-hearted entry it's perfect for the topic. Thanks for writing this.
Joanne Sher 02/23/08
Enjoyed this very much - love the ending and the pains your MC went to to "get him back."

Good stuff!
Jan Ackerson 02/24/08
Superb take on the topic, great voice, fun twist at the end.
Laury Hubrich 02/26/08
I love how you told this story! Good job with very good lessons to be learned within!
Laury
Seema Bagai 02/27/08
Oh, teenage drama. Loved the MC's voice in this piece. I liked the word play in the title, too.
Sara Harricharan 02/28/08
Ouch! You title ties in well with the story. I felt sorry for her feet. What a tough 'promise' to do...I'm glad that they were able to work out their differences. The cute twist at the end with Phillip, that was nice, I'm glad it ended on a happy note. You made this real with the blisters on her feet and not wanting the cookie anymore. Great dialouge. ^_^


   
© MeasurelessMedia. All rights reservedTerms of Service