The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/21/08
I love reading entries early because I get to be the 1st to discover treasures like this one. This is like one of Bea's pastries with lots of fun bits throughout like "swept into the business". The final sentence is a great image. Guess he got his just desserts?
02/22/08
What a fun story! Great ending that actually delivers a stong lesson. Characterization is great as well. Loved it!
02/22/08
What a fun packaging for this lesson--and what a good lesson it is, too. Resentment and spite seem to go hand-in-hand. Great story!
02/22/08
Very creative. Loved all the word plays in the beginning.
02/23/08
This is absolutely wonderful! Congratulations on what has to be a clean sweep of the meaning of the theme (couldn't resist).
Ahhh I would not have just thrown the donuts at Bromley; it would have been the tray as well. What a loud-mouthed, pompous, Jackanapes ... ugh! Serves him right LOL.

I loved the descriptions and you can just see the the look of shock on Bromley's face.

Super story! I loved it. Well done!!
There is so much to like here. It is clever and fun. The characterizations are wonderful. A perfect read for a Sunday afternoon.
I love this literary masterpiece--so clever on so many different levels. It's a winner in my book.
02/24/08
Love this! Love it! From the title to the characters... perfect. A masterpiece!
Laury
02/24/08
Oh what a brilliant, bristly ending! This one is at the top of my list this week :)
02/25/08
Oh wow--I can't TELL you how much I love this piece! Absolutely one of my favorites this week.
02/25/08
Your title is just plain fun! I enjoyed these: “Bromley was swept into the business” and the “Bea got busy”--(she was a busy bee), “scattered like dust bunnies” Your ending paragraph was so much fun/perfect/clever! I love everything about this!

Your entry is filled with great alliteration. I think Jan will be proud of you…you were obviously paying attention in her class.

Have your ever been to The Living History Farms near Des Moines? They grow broom corn and have a broom shop in their 1870’s town.
02/26/08
I love this entry! I like how he resembled a broom and how Bea buzzed around him! A very fun read.
02/27/08
Loved this piece. One of the best I've read this week. Great job on the word play and alliteration.
02/27/08
Amazing! No wonder you are in Masters!!! I can just see this story with beautiful illustrations!
02/27/08
Oooh, I felt so sorry for Bea! That meanie! Oh well, he's already hurting himself with that knife and grudge in hand. You did well with showeing the proverb and especially with showing what the jealousy will do. I could see this expanding into a cute, charming story, where hopefully, he comes around. ^_^ Nice work!
This was a fun and creative read, with great word play. I wouldn't be surprised to see it clean up tomorrow.
Beastly fun, I'd bother to say! Bravo! : )
SOOOOO much fun! Enjoyed it all, but was very surprised to find him sweeping her floor. GREAT entry!