The Official Writing Challenge
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What a dilemma your mc has. Still, I'd like to hear his wife's side of the story. Your piece hit the topic well.
02/22/08
The POV and voice are engaging, even though the topic is serious. You brought out some VERY good points here and I like how you wove Scripture in.
Ooookay...what *did* he do? I gotta know. Creative take on the topic, and well-written.
02/24/08
I think this really begs to have the rest of his story written. I like how the thoughts and actions are woven together. Beautiful.
02/24/08
I think I like this ending better with the not knowing. The way your mc was going, drowning himself in the bottle, the sequel would be short. Packed with emotion and probably a pretty authentic thought process, you did a good job writing this on topic.
02/24/08
You have many good thoughts in your MC's processing role and succeeded in highlighting his own faults at the same time. Unfortunately, he has loser written all over him, which makes me not want to see him get back with his ex. I think one is supposed to help the reader root for the MC.
Eye-catching title and I liked how you brought that out in the ending scripture. This is a piece I've pondered over how to comment on. It is extremely well written. The reader is drawn into the thought process. However, as noted by other comments, the women out there are saying "there are 2 sides to every story" as men would be saying if it had been a female MC. Since this is short fiction, I rather like how you worked out a questionable yet hopeful ending that lets the reader try to figure it out. As far as being on topic, I had to think about that. Contemplating suicide is certainly the ultimate and irrevocable "cutting off one's nose...." All in all, a very enjoyable and intriguing piece.