The Official Writing Challenge
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02/21/08
I'm so glad this poor woman found a way to get groceries for her family. This is a very sad story, but I'm glad it had a happy ending.
02/22/08
Ray sure didn't want his "chick" to peck her way out of her shell, did he? Your story reminds me that there are so many other women trapped in controlling relationships. Thank you for having such a heart to reach them.
I want more details, what happened to Ray, did he come back, did she divorce him, did he leave them high and dry...hope to see more on this in another installment. I was hooked.....
02/23/08
Oh my, I suspect that this is based on a true story--if so, it breaks my heart! And I want to just tweak Ray's nose!

Very good writing; I was very involved in the story--but I'm not clear on its connection to the proverb.

I'd definitely read an expansion of this.
A VERY WELL WRITTEN DIALOGUE!
Yet when your story mentioned,the wife saying "Ray my husband at the time"...did you mean that later on the family broke up?
If this is the case then I feel he went too far.
A good style...yet in this age? I do not know what opinion to form of such a father and husband...let alone being a man of God!
08/16/09
The phrase "my husband at that time" isn't necessary and gives away too much.
The emotion at the end is well written.
Again..this will fit well in your longer autobiography...and I pray will help other women in the same situation.