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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "Don't Cut off Your Nose to Spite Your Face" (without using the actual phrase or litera (02/14/08)

TITLE: Stormy Weather Warning
By Dianne Janak
02/16/08


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“Didn’t you hear the weatherman today? Probability of showers. You always forget your umbrella.” Tiffany hated her naggy tone, but lately her husband’s absentmindedness irritated her.

“Yeah, well. Weathermen are about as predictable as women. Lots of idle threats but no real promises.” David’s sarcasm had become a part of their marital dance.

Sipping coffee that morning, Tiffany wondered when the honeymoon had ended. Where went the light laughter, the innocent tease, the dream sharing, and the pain of loneliness when she and David were apart?

When did the bickering begin? When did silence replace their heart-sharing? When did she start to feel relief when he walked out the door each morning ? When did they start to compete in this endless power struggle of one-up-manship?

**************************************

“Oh honey, you came into my life just in time. I love you so much. You complete me. I love that line. It’s so US! I don’t even think about how much I detest my parents anymore. You are my rescuer. Now I know what real love is.”

Tiffany’s relief in her upcoming escape from her alcoholic dad and abusive mom usurped even the excitement about the wedding plans.

“Aww, really? No one appreciates me like you do. Being with you makes me feel like king of the world, and I love it. I can fill your needs now. Don’t worry. Your life from now on is in my hands. Have no fear, your man is here! ”

David loved her constant flattery . His mom seemed to favor his younger brother, and he wasn’t used to this attention. His dad’s putdowns must have been lies. Finally he found someone who appreciated him. He couldn’t get enough of her.

Their wedding day, a mixture of unbridled joy , mixed with the typical stressful chaos, started them on their “blissful” journey into the unknown. They were so young, so innocent, and had so much to learn.
She needed him to love her unconditionally, and he needed her for his shattered ego. Together their hope was to be filled with forever- after -happiness.

***************************************

The inevitable day came when time froze. She couldn’t believe he would ever cheat on her. David had fallen from grace, betrayed her heart, and lied . They were still young, but the devastation stole her emotional breath for years to come.

His brokenness and sorrow at hurting her meant nothing. Their union was in peril.

“How could you? I believed in YOU! You were supposed to protect me from hurt, not break my heart. You phony. Never ever will I trust you or anyone else again. Please don’t touch me. I can’t stand the sight of you.”

Bitterness began to take root in her heart and defile her whole family.

Nothing David would say helped. He wanted to go to counseling. She refused. He wanted to start going to church. She wanted nothing to do with God.

Pride kept her pain inside, and depression took over.

This emotional flu kept her dwelling on his betrayal . How could a good God allow so much suffering? She had believed in her husband. Wasn’t that a good thing?

In her mind he was to blame, but in killing the “us” she had once believed in, her unresolved anger did more damage to the marriage than the betrayal.

David was repentant, causing her resolve to wear thin. She wanted peace, but couldn’t find it. Their lives were falling apart, and the scars on the children were showing up. They finally had come to the end of themselves. They needed help and decided to ask God for an answer.

Jesus rode into their hearts as Rescuer, and nothing was the same. His shining armor with the sword of truth, cut through the deception and bitterness to set them free from the past.

The eternal marital bliss was yet to be attained. They realized how unrealistic that was, and they even started to find mature love. They both could wait for the New Day and until then keep on staying focused on the One who loved them most.

“There are a few clouds today honey. Here’s your umbrella. I know you want to protect your new suit. I don’t want to nag, but I just love looking out for you.”

“What on earth would I do without my wife?” David smiled tenderly. It never mattered anymore what the weather man said.

Something brand new was happening, and he loved it.


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This article has been read 579 times
Member Comments
Member Date
LauraLee Shaw02/21/08
What a moving story of restoration for this hurting couple! It seems so simple when a relationship is young, doesn't it? Thank you for sharing this piece, and I pray it will minister to many, causing them to think before they make a regrettable mistake. Or at the very least, give the broken pieces to God.
Debbie Wistrom02/22/08
Great slice of life here, and what a perfect title... Thanks for the lessons.
Holly Westefeld02/23/08
Great title and lessons.
I would like to have seen more showing, less telling. For instance, to introduce the affair, instead of coming in with narrative, how about dialogue. "You what?) or David saying: "Honey, we need to talk."
Jan Ackerson 02/23/08
I like the structure of this, how it went full circle with good flashbacks and flash forwards.
Henrietta W. Romman02/27/08
"Pride kept her pain inside,and depression took over."
I like this sentence immensely. It is so full of
emotions gaining the upper hand in our human nature! I think it is very well put.
Thank you for this discriptive and truthful style.
Sara Harricharan 02/28/08
Very good descriptions here! I thought at first from the title that it was going to be about a boat and someone trapped at sea. There's quite a message in this piece. I liked how the ending came back around to the beginning though. It showed the hope and it showed that it is possible to get back 'together' even though all of that. Very realistic characters. ^_^
Beth LaBuff 02/29/08
Dianne -- Your words just flow in this beautiful piece of reconciliation. You came full circle with the umbrella and weather, then from her husband being her rescuer to their marriage needing rescued. I like this sentence, “Jesus rode into their hearts as Rescuer” and then “cut through the deception and bitterness to set them free from the past.” Your title is very creative. Very nice work!


David Butler 03/15/08
Hey! This is good stuff. You said you couldn't do dialogue, and now you've proved yourself wrong.
The key for me is putting yourself in the shoes of the characters, taking on their persona, the situation, the history etc etc and the product is - realistic dialogue. Then maybe you add some witty or dramatic touches to it when they've said their piece. Mostly works for me anyway.
I agree that more of the narration could be converted to dialogue, but don't lose that nice poetic touch you put in the narration.