I’m making drinks for everybody, it’s my job, make really good (and good looking) coffee drinks. Problem is, I can’t make any drinks for myself, and I’m groggy. I barely slept at all, but the boss says I can’t have any for free.
“Jimmy, we’re a little slow these days. You know how it is.” But I can barely move. I’m fading in and out. It’s Saturday morning. I was karaoken’ last night. My throat’s sore, I can’t think. Boss says I can’t have a cuppa coffee. What’s the matter? I make eight bucks an hour, don’t even getta drink the coffee.
“I can’t pay three or four bucks for a cuppa coffee.”
“Tell you what, Jimmy. You can pound the rejects.” I can pound the rejects. Good news! I get the drinks nobody wants. You know the screwed up ones and the ones that got dropped on the floor. I ain’t drinking those. Now way!
I think about it a second, get to thinking: “what if I make lattes, and scoop the foam off ‘em, then they won’t want ‘em.” Good idea. People only drink lattes so they can sip on the foam, plus foam makes coffee look a lot better anyways. So, that’s what I do. I scoop the foam off all the lattes.
“Here your latte! Have a nice day!” They look at it. “Hey, whattsa matter? You got your latte, now beat it.”
“Where’s the foam?”
“Oh, you don’t want it anymore?”
“I won’t foam. Give me foam!” So I pound the latte right in front of them.
“MMM! Good! No foam latte! I like it! Only jerks want foam on their lattes”. Then I make ‘em a foamy latte and they walk out the door. “Have a nice day.” It’s that easy. My boss comes in.
“Whattsa matter with you! You put foam on the customers latte or your outta here!”
“I’m trying somethin’ new!”
“You’re trying to get free coffee! Make ‘em right or hit the road!”
“Okay boss. Keep your trousers on.” I’m all jazzed up anyways, I’ve had a few. Vinnie walks up.
“Jimmy, whattsa matter? Why you giving people ugly joe?”
“I need a boost. No problem.” He swaps me across the face.
“Don’t be givin’ the people ugly joe, Jimmy. Where’s your pride, huh?”
“I got pride. Just need a pick me up, that’s all.”
“You need a throw down! You gotta take pride in what you do, or your nuthin!’ Those people you gave ugly joe to. They think you’re nuthin.’ Your job is to make good joe. Do your job.” So I put the foam back.
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