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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "It's No Use Crying over Spilt Milk" (without using the actual phrase or literal exampl (02/07/08)

TITLE: Giving Up Is Not An Option
By LaNaye Perkins
02/13/08


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Sgt. Jason Talbert felt searing metal rip through his calf muscle. The shattering bones made an audible sound, and he felt the blood begin to flow down his leg into his boot. Yet, he didn’t feel any pain. His years of training took over as he reached for his rifle and started to return fire as everything around him exploded in confusion and fire. All the men in his unit closed ranks as the insurgents pressed in on them. Their bullets ricocheted off the vehicles and rocket launched grenades exploded all around them.

During the firefight Cpl. Todd Garrett saw the blood hemorrhaging from the sergeant’s leg. Grabbing a rope from the back of the disabled Humvee, he pushed the sergeant down to the pavement of the road. He used it to tie a tourniquet around the sergeant’s leg, while trying to keep him still.

“Sgt., you have to let me stop that bleeding! Please hold still and don’t move.”

Todd knew if he didn’t stop the bleeding his Sgt. wouldn’t make it. The smell of the blood mingled with the smoke from the disabled Humvee and sweat of the men fighting around him. The young corporal grimaced as he fought back the nausea from the sights and sounds around him.

“Sgt., hang with me! Don‘t you quit on me sir! Come on, fight to stay with me.”

Jason’s last thought before he lost consciousness was of his children.

God, don’t let me die, I can’t bear the thought of leaving my kids alone. Please don’t let my kids grow up without their dad.

The medics arrived and airlifted Sgt. Talbert to the nearest military hospital. He slipped in and out of consciousness several times. Cpl. Garrett stayed at his side holding pressure on the tourniquet to keep the sergeant from bleeding to death. The medics lost him twice but resuscitated him each time. They managed to keep him alive until he reached the hospital. Several of the sergeant’s men gave blood to help support him.

The doctors did emergency surgery to amputate his left leg and within four days he was back in the states. The ward he was put on was full of other soldiers who had also lost limbs in the war. Their screams, like his, could be heard throughout the nights as the horrors of war tormented their battered bodies and minds. He was saddened when he thought how so many had no clue of the terrible sacrifice all these brave men and women had made to protect their freedoms.

The nurses were a godsend to the wounded soldiers. So often at night you could see a number of them at the bedsides of soldiers, softly offering comfort and prayers for these heroes who were in such need of their kindness and compassion. Jason thanked God every day for each of them.

All his doctors and the staff were amazed when he was walking on his prosthetic leg just twenty five days after his injury. He showed uncommon persistence and never let defeat become an option in his recovery. He was moved to another ward, but oftentimes he would be found on the ward for newly arrived soldiers. He would take time to talk with them and offer encouragement. Often he could be seen praying for them.

Just before Jason was released from the hospital, one of the nurses asked him about his positive attitude and determination to never quit. His response was simple and to the point.

“God has a reason for all things. Life is what it is, and giving up just isn’t an option.”

********************************
I wrote this to honor our military men and women throughout all the free nations of the world. God bless all those willing to fight for our freedoms.

All gave some - Some gave all.


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This article has been read 614 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Holly Westefeld02/14/08
A very nice tribute. You really grabbed my attention at the beginning. I could feel the tension, etc., but as it continued, I seemed to lose the connection. I know the word limit gets in our way, but I think it might have helped to see some of the sergeant's struggles during recovery.
Joanne Sher 02/15/08
You put me right in the middle of this - very good descriptions. I love the last line of your note. Good stuff.
Beth LaBuff 02/15/08
This is a wonderful tribute to our men and women who, through the centuries have fought to protect our freedoms. Your descriptions in your opening paragraph took me right to the battleline. Despite the loss of a leg, your MC took what happened, knowing God allowed it. (I like that thought.) Really nice work on this.

Your last quote "All gave some, some gave all" was one "Freedom Rock" one year. (It's near Greenfield, IA--you can google it).
Laury Hubrich 02/16/08
Wow! I felt like I was on the battlefield, too. I don't know how these men can do it. Thank you for this lesson today, that giving up is not an option. I really needed to hear that today, especially. Thank you:)
Laury
william price02/18/08
Gripping opening that arrested my attention straight off. Great story and message. God bless.
Seema Bagai 02/18/08
Your descriptions made me feel like I was right in the middle of the battle. Great job.

Red ink: I would have liked to see a bit more of the MC's thoughts. It seemed like his determination to get well was too matter of fact.
Sharlyn Guthrie 02/18/08
Powerful story! I would have liked it even better with more showing, less telling. Otherwise, very good job.
Betty Castleberry02/18/08
You know I love this, Naye. The descriptions are wonderful, and the writing is very good. Thumbs up.
Paula Titus 02/18/08
This is just gripping, your words put me right in the center of the battle, and held my attention to a perfect ending.
Lyn Churchyard02/19/08
Wonderfully written. We truly have no idea what these men and women go through. Thank God for men like Sgt. Talbert who forget their own pain to help others in pain.
I too, would liked to have seen more of his struggles during recovery, but that is probably the only red ink I can think of.
Well done Naye.
LauraLee Shaw02/19/08
This was gripping from the start. Well done. I really like that you placed this emotion in the piece:

Jason’s last thought before he lost consciousness was of his children.
God, don’t let me die, I can’t bear the thought of leaving my kids alone. Please don’t let my kids grow up without their dad.
Jan Ackerson 02/19/08
The first half of this is VERY compelling, and written in a very you-are-there style. Excellent!

The second half is a bit more "telling", but nevertheless a fitting tribute to our brave wounded.

FYI--the phrase "audible sound" is redundant; can you think of a different phrase that would work better? And there's a bit in the 10th paragraph where you slip into 2nd person (you). 3rd person would be more powerful there.

I love this guy's spirit--he's a real hero.
Patty Wysong02/19/08
Wow. I was hooked immediately. Great writing, great story. My little army man is still on my kitchen window sill as a visual prayer reminder. ...now I've got to go find a tissue.
Lynda Schultz 02/19/08
Yes, a little more tension within the character would have made this stronger—he's a little too good to be true. Also, you should probably write out titles like Corporal and Sargeant. I'm quoting a recent editing course I took: "Do not begin a sentence with an abbreviation" also, "professional titles should be abbreviated only when combined with both a first and last name."
Great tribute.
Sara Harricharan 02/20/08
your title fits this piece. It is a lovely tribute to our unspoken heroes. Your last line was just perfect. Thanks for sharing this! ^_^
Verna Cole Mitchell 02/20/08
You really succeeded in putting your reader in the midst of the action, as well as paying tribute to our brave soldiers. Your descriptions were great.


   
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