The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/14/08
I love all your contrasts--Lost in the past/Jesus has offered today AND wandering-trapped in the valley of fret/Christ...giving a map to the lost.

I'm just wondering if maybe a more postitive title would be better (your title is very poetic, though). The second half of your poem is filled with hope. Or maybe a title that reflects both thoughts. Just a thought.

I really like this stanza. "Finding escape from the gorge In the ascent from the past— Christ has redeemed yesterday Giving a map to the lost;" Your poem is well thought out. Nice writing.


Your poem spoke well for itself. I don't believe you needed the exposition at the top, but as you obviosly did, perhaps the end would be a less distracting placement.
02/16/08
This is a poem full of hope!
Laury
02/17/08
Lovely, hope-filled rhyme.
02/18/08
Nice work, I enjoyed this poem very much, keep up the good work.