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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: birthday (05/23/05)

TITLE: The Song
By Amy Michelle Wiley


“You don’t recognize me.”

The mechanic glanced indifferently at me around the hood of my car. “Should I?”

“I didn’t recognize you at first, either.”

“Look, lady, if you want me to know who you are, you’ll have to tell me.”

I gave a small smile. “I’m Melissa Yorker. Your little sister and I were best friends.”

Only the tiniest glimmer of expression crossed his face. He tinkered with some mysterious part of the engine. “What brings you to town?”

“Just visiting my parents. Then my car had some trouble, so I brought it in. I didn’t know you worked here.”

“Well I do.” He leaned into the bowels of the engine. “Of all the days to come.” He yanked his head out again. “Do you even know what day it is?”

“I brought flowers to her grave this morning.” Kathleen Joy Hinkle, the marker had said. May 30, 1984--January 17, 1998. “She would have been twenty today.” I looked at her brother as he pulled on a wire, remembering when he had helped Katie and me build a fort. And remembering, too, how right before she died he had been so excited to get his driver’s license that he’d been willing to drive us anywhere we wanted to go. I glanced at the sign on the office door. “Hey, it’s almost closing time. You want to get coffee and talk?”

Talk?” I was shocked at the harshness of his voice. “Talk! You want to talk about how I killed Katie? About how a stupid video was more important than my sister?” I could only stare with my mouth open as he vented. “Mom told me it was too icy to go out. But did I listen? No! I wanted to get that video. I don’t even remember why I took Katie.”

“Joel. Katie didn’t blame you.”

He slammed the hood. “And how would you know that?”

I frowned. “Joel, don’t you remember what she said before she died?”

“She died before anyone talked to her, you idiot!” He shouted the words, his breath hot on my face.

For a shocked moment I could hardly breathe. Then suddenly it was all clear. Tears began pouring down my cheeks. “Oh, Joel. You don’t remember, do you? I talked to her before she died. I told you about it, but--but you were on all those pain medications.”


The waitress set steaming cups of coffee on the table. Joel’s hand trembled as he reached for his. “I never knew you talked to Katie before she died. My family didn’t talk about that day much.” He clutched the cup tightly. “That stupid song!”

“What song, Joel?” I frowned, trying to remember.

He sighed. “Our band wanted to perform this song from a movie. It had just come out on video and I wanted to try to learn the guitar part.”

“Katie mentioned the song.”

“She did? By the time my parents got to the hospital, Katie was in a coma. How...?” He searched my eyes pleadingly.

“Dad heard the call on his police radio. We lived close to the hospital and he used the siren on the way there. You were already headed in for surgery. I’m not sure why they let me in to see Katie. I was only a kid and I wasn’t even family.” If I closed my eyes I could still see her--my bubbly, bouncy friend lying pale on that white bed, a bloody bandage wrapped around her head. “She smiled when she saw me. Her voice was weak, but she told me--” My voice broke. “She told me, ‘Tell Joel that he’d better learn that song really well, ‘cause when he gets to Heaven I’m gonna want to sing it with him. And I’m gonna have perfect pitch!’”

Joel cried then, tears running unashamedly down his cheeks.

“She didn’t blame you, Joel,” I whispered. “Maybe it’s time you forgave yourself and let God forgive you.”

He was silent for a time, praying perhaps. Then he leaned forward. “Melissa, thank you. Thank you for coming today and telling me this.”

“You’re welcome. But Joel, it really wasn’t me. I didn’t even know you were a mechanic. It’s Someone Else we need to thank.”

Smiling a little, he nodded. “Yeah.” He pushed his chair back. “Melissa, I’d like to keep in touch.” He swallowed hard. “But, if you’ll excuse me now, I think there’s a song I need to go learn.”

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This article has been read 1426 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Suzanne R05/31/05
How sad. And how pointless a death. But I guess such things are a reality, though. You describe the brother well, and the 'circumstances' that brought this meeting about on this day. Well done.
Lynda Lee Schab 05/31/05
Very well written. Believable dialogue, great slant. Kept my interest throughout. Great job!
Blessings, Lynda
dub W06/02/05
Wonderful story, full circle, kept me glued to the page. A little sad, but with a positive ending.
darlene hight06/03/05
I like the premise of this story. I think that I would have liked it more if the information came out in more of a surprise fashion. Kind of like life :) but it was a good read.
Joanne Malley06/03/05
Sad, true to life and well written. I enjoyed it!
Pat Guy 06/03/05
Well thought out, flowed easily, well written! Good job!
Maxx .06/03/05
Quite moving! A touching story. Watch your POV shifts in a short story. Flowed well through the conclusion. :-)
Nancy Hardy06/06/05
 Tender and very encouraging piece. It was uplifting to read how God works and how forgiveness is often the hardest to grant to ourselves.
Val Clark06/06/05
Your characters and the way they react are believable and convincing. Very immediate story, I was in the garage and the coffee shop with them. Well done.