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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "It's No Use Crying over Spilt Milk" (without using the actual phrase or literal exampl (02/07/08)

TITLE: Those Split Seconds of Crunchiness
By Sally Hanan
02/11/08


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My husband touched it as if it were pure bullion, and to him, it was. It stood there proudly, gleaming from a recent coat of hand-polished wax—a dark green, four door BMW. My mouth hurt from my happy smiles for my man.

In order to understand his joy, one should be aware that for the previous four years my husband had driven a very old work van that was equipped with a steering-wheel and not much else. A healthy tax return had enabled us to find this precious pot of gold on EBay, and we couldn’t wait to smell the plether.*

For the occasion, we drove the family down to the big city in a rented minivan. I had a GPS licked to the windscreen, which helped us to get onto the right overpasses and into the parking lot where this little gem sat waiting. It was the smallest model one can buy in the BMW series, and my husband had wanted one that was a manual drive so that he could pick up on power. The smile on his face after he drove it around the block should have been on a TV show.

I sat with the kids while he flourished the pen over the sale documents, and jumped up to rejoice with him when he waved the key in our direction.

He planned to follow close behind our minivan so as to benefit from our GPS system. Cars were lined up on both sides of the exit. My husband pulled up beside me so that he could pull out at the same time and stay on my tail. Frontage road traffic was swift and voluminous, and just as we saw a gap and were about to pull out, a vehicle pulled up to the exit wanting to get in. My husband looked over his left shoulder and started to reverse, at the same moment as I looked over my right shoulder and did the same thing…

CRUNCH.

I knew what had happened, but I didn’t want to acknowledge it.

“What happened Mommy,” said a little voice from the back.

“I think I crashed into your daddy’s new car.”

“Oh no!”

That was an understatement.

My shaky hand managed to find the door handle and I slipped from on high and let my feet find their way over to where my husband stood—right beside the foot-long dent in the back door.

His eyes congregated with mine.
His arms lifted up to rest around my torso.
And he said…

“It’s only a car.”

I don’t believe anything that good went through his mind in those split seconds of crunchiness, but he made a choice as he stepped out of his waxed piece of mangled metal, and because of it, I have canonized him as my personal saint.

He made a choice in those moments.

Because of it, he is still alive to tell the tale…


P.S. If you want him to be the main speaker at your next men’s group, call 1800-BE-SMART. It could save lives.



*plether = fake leather


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This article has been read 688 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lynda Schultz 02/14/08
Hilarious. You do have a gem there—hang on to him! Great story.
Leigh MacKelvey02/14/08
"His eyes congregated with mine", what a great verb and it's those strong verbs and nouns that make this piece so interesting. Right on topic and this man needs to charge plenty when he speaks at men's meetings! Very enjoyable read.
Peter Stone02/15/08
Great article, and I especially loved this line - 'Because of it, he is still alive to tell the tale.'
Verna Cole Mitchell 02/15/08
Your husband is a keeper, as well as your story.
Patty Wysong02/15/08
My favorite line: "Because of it, he is still alive to tell the tale…" I'm still chuckling over that! Oh, that poor car, er, man.
Joanne Sher 02/17/08
SO clever ending. Gave me just the right giggle. The whole piece is delightful, but that ending takes the cake. :)
Dee Yoder 02/18/08
Yes, it's good for a husband to know how to stay alive...smart man! Funny and wonderful to read.
LauraLee Shaw02/19/08
Your title fits this piece perfectly, and it is SO great! Loved every split second of it.
Jan Ackerson 02/19/08
I love everything about this, and the title really clinches it. Delightful!
Laury Hubrich 02/20/08
Love your story (and your hubby!) Great title!
Laury
Debbie Wistrom02/20/08
Fo the car's sake I hope this isn't a true story, I can feel the pain. What a wonderful husband. Great story for this topic.
Sara Harricharan 02/20/08
Oooh, very creative title and after reading this piece, I see why it fits so well! True story with a happy ending-now that's one that I like! The ending with the telephone number is just hilarious. Nice job! ^_^
Betty Castleberry02/20/08
HAHA! I am laughing out loud. This was priceless. I love, love, love the ending.
Henry Clemmons02/21/08
I thought your title was the perfect lead-in to this tale. I truely enjoyed your sense of humor and well planned delivery. Even though I drive a truck, I don't think I could have been as understanding. I enjoyed your entry.