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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "It's No Use Crying over Spilt Milk" (without using the actual phrase or literal exampl (02/07/08)

TITLE: No More Fast Food For Me
By Donna Powers


Let’s face it: what I’ve been doing hasn’t been working.

You’ve seen it for yourself: the handsome, superior, resourceful and predatory Coyote (me) stalks the delicious, inferior, ridiculous and destined-to-be-eaten Roadrunner (him). The winner of contest seems obvious to anyone with an elementary sense of justice. Yet, time after time, Fate has seen to it that this devious creature has escaped my clutches.

I stand before you a very hungry coyote.

But today is going to be different. I see you scoffing; you’ve heard me make this same vow many times – only to end up with an Acme catapult wrapped around my neck, or an Acme anvil firmly planted on my tender flanks. And where is my intended dinner? There he'd go… zipping by me, at lightening speed, boldly flaunting his freedom with a taunting “meep meep!”

It truly makes me howl in frustration.

In the past, I’ll admit I have stubbornly clung to the notion that since I crave the succulent Roadrunner, and since all the rules of nature seem to dictate that this slender bird was destined by God to be my dinner, I would therefore leave no stone unturned – and, as has been amply demonstrated– no Acme product untried - in my pursuit of this ornery fowl. After all, I need to eat – and the Roadrunner was my preferred main course. Anyone who watches the Cartoon Channel can tell you the ignominious result of those attempts.

“Meep meep,” indeed.

Oh, the injustice! Oh, the sad denouement of my cherished dream. What a pity that all my efforts have yielded me not one taste of that insouciant creature.

All this has left me with but one conclusion: if the Creator, in His wisdom, has given this Roadrunner the ability to outmaneuver yours truly, then He will provide an alternate selection for my sustenance. I could moan about it forever, or I could make plans to capture an animal that is certain not to elude my clutches. I don’t want to be tied to an irrational choice because of my stubbornness. It’s time to move on, in a gastronomical sense. In doing so, I did some research as to which animals might be – shall we say, more likely to be captured. I believe I have found the ideal choice. When I learned about these wonderful creatures, my mouth began to water in anticipation. I stand ready, dreaming fondly of my upcoming meal.

By the way, does anyone know what kind of beverage to serve with turtle?

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This article has been read 776 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Debbie Wistrom02/14/08
Great play on words for your title! I loved the whole thinkg but especailly "Oh, the injustice! Oh, the sad denouement of my cherished dream. What a pity that all my efforts have yielded me not one taste of that insouciant creature."
This was much fun, thanks for sharing!
Chrissi Dunn02/14/08
Great fun, and really creative! Loved the ending especially.
Seema Bagai 02/14/08
Loved this piece. Clever and creative.
Joanne Sher 02/15/08
I'm STILL laughing. What FUN this must have been to write, and how clever it is! Just LOVE it!
Rebecca O'Connor02/15/08
Too funny, but I felt the need to stick hotdog right through monitor...plus the fact that I believe ACME does make them!
Laury Hubrich 02/16/08
How hilarious! Perfect reading for a Saturday morning!
c clemons02/17/08
I read this because of the title and was enjoyed it alot. Thanks for the posting.
LauraLee Shaw02/18/08
Oh my goodness. I am split into! This is so cute, clever and creative. WEll done.
Patty Wysong02/18/08
I LOVE the voice you used here!! It's perfect and it adds soooo much! I love the whole thing!! (and congrats for being in the Jewel Chest!!) Hugs!!