The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/07/08
The description is excellent. I could feel and see it allthe evidence of a good writer.

What descriptive action here! I love your use of present tense as it makes so much more intense!
Vivid in every detail. I could smell, hear, see, feel it all...and my heart is pounding. Great job.
You grabbed me right away. I could smell the trash! I love the innocence of this young man. Certainly some do wonder how they got so far away from what they knew was right. I hope he made it out of that cell okay...sure would like to know the rest of the story. Great writing.
02/10/08
Very descriptive tale of a lad who has made some wrong choices. Enjoyed it. God bless.
02/10/08
Very vivid. Being inside the MC's head really added a lot.
02/10/08
Sandra, I loved this! The present tense (and the seamless transition to a small, past-tense flashback) really worked for me--befitting the immediacy of the situation.

I had to smile when reading this...I thought about the writing adage "write what you know" and I'm trying to imagine your former life as a gangsta. You definitely had me convinced!
02/10/08
Wow! Really powerful writing. This story drew me in immediately and kept me there the whole time. Excellent.
Bold, descriptive and attention-getting. 'Nuff said.
You grabbed my attention from the first sentence to the last word. Excellent!
02/10/08
Very, VERY intense. You have done a masterful job of setting the scene especially. If this is you out of practice, I have no chances when you are IN practice, my friend.
02/11/08
Tension-filled story and a really taut ending kept me reading. I can't help feeling sorry for the MC-and his poor grandmother.
I found myself holding my breath as I read this. True craftmanship!
Intense action. The use of the first person really made it point on for me. The title is perfect for the message of the story. I didn't want to be in that cell with him, not even for a moment.
02/11/08
Excellent writing on this story. It's a world I only visit through other's writings. You've made this come alive.