I'm alone most days. It's true. I've outlived my husband and all of my good friends. I'm pushing ninety.
Ninety. Imagine that.
Inside, I feel the same. My outside reminds me it is true. Today is Monday, the beginning of another week of nothing but time. The years fly by and the days move in slow motion.
I can sweep up my tablespoon of dirt on the kitchen floor, I suppose, and try to remember when it seemed as if I had buckets full each day. Looking through my picture window and nobody is out this morning, I guess. Is it Monday? Monday through Friday. Pretty much the same day after day.
My week is just the opposite of the life my kids live. We all do look forward to the weekends. And so I'll begin to plan for Sunday. My kids. I still call them kids even though they are middle aged.
Middle aged. Imagine.
Their days are jam-packed full of details. Work, games, e-mail, computers, cell phones. It makes my head spin. I wish they would take time to ponder awhile. It shall pass. It shall all pass. I'll get back to my plans.
The lace tablecloth will look nice. I'll unfold the creases and set it on the dining room table. Maybe some lilacs from the bush next door. I'll write that down so I don't forget. I forget things. We'll use my teacups, I think. Oh, I'll make Julie's favorite cake, that strawberry and cream one. I'll add to my list. Maybe I'll sit a bit and shine the good silver. After all, my Julie girl will be twenty two this week. Visiting her grandma may not be at the top of her list, but she'll be here. Yes she will.
The plans for my little family party will take me all week. It will give me something to think about and fulfilling work to do. The work we do for someone else's happiness is the best kind of work, isn't it?
They will all ooh and aah over my table. It will all be worth it. I'll sit and take it all in. The laughter and the food and their faces and enjoy every minute of it. They are everything on earth to me.
Most days I think about heaven now.The tablecloths there will have no creases. I bet we''l use the good ones every day.
"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:21
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