Home Read What's New Join
My Account Login

Read Our Devotional             2016 Opportunities to be Published             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge



how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level


submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners

Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.



how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "A Man is Known by the Company He Keeps" (without using the actual phrase). (01/31/08)

TITLE: The Waitress
By Peter Stone


“Hey guys, that cute waitress Natasha isn’t here today!” protested Henry as we took our seats in Bill’s Diner.

“Huh?” puzzled Jase in all seriousness. “Don’t we come here for the food?”

After a pause, we answered as one. “Nah – for Natasha.”

Nothing was sacred to my friends, they sent up everyone and everything in a way that kept me amused for hours.

“Oh please tell me she’s not Natasha’s replacement,” Henry pined as a middle aged waitress headed for our table.

“May I take your order?” she asked. Her speech impediment and inexpensive hearing aides reminded me of Megan, a deaf girl I had met at the gym two months ago. She was the cutest thing to walk the earth so I had finally asked her out. She had responded by inviting me to have dinner at her folk’s place tonight.

“Whoa, what’s wrong with your voice, lady?” Jase piped up.

“I’m deaf,” she replied.

“Sorry, what was that?” Jase asked.

“I’m deaf,” she repeated patiently.

“Sorry, what was that?” Jase asked again.

Tom lost it, “Oh man, Jase, you’re just too good!”

“I’m d…” The waitress trailed off when she saw my friends laughing. Obviously hurt, she frowned at Jase.
“Do you want to order, young man?”

“Toasted cheese and tomato sandwich thanks,” Barry announced.

The waitress turned to face Barry, “Sorry, again please?”

“Man, what is this? We have to say everything twice now!” he snapped so rudely that I jolted visibly. I hoped no one treated Megan this way. “I said I’ll have a toasted cheese and tomato sandwich!”

“Hit me with the chicken schnitzel,” declared Jase.

“Sorry, did you say chicken?” she queried somewhat hesitantly.

“Oh man, buy some proper hearing aides.” Although spoken softly for our benefit, I was horrified to see the waitress watching Jase’s lips and not his eyes. “CHICKEN SCHNITZEL!” He practically shouted.

Covering my mouth with a menu, I gestured to my friend, “Be careful, Jase: she’s a lip reader. And she probably can’t afford good hearing aides – they’re several thousand dollars a pair.”

“How would you know that?” he shot back.

“Ah, I just heard it, that’s all,” I muttered, too embarrassed to let on that I was dating a deaf girl.

“If she read my lips, too bad. Maybe she’ll get the hint and get another job. Then these idiots can hire a waitress who can actually hear the customers!” was his comeback.

Seeing the waitress on the verge of tears, I quickly changed the topic by giving her my order.

It was six that evening when I reached Megan’s house.

Nervous at the prospect of meeting her parents, I rang the doorbell. And then almost died when the deaf waitress, sporting tear stained cheeks, opened the door. “You! Haven’t you and your friends done enough damage today? Do you know how hard it is for a deaf woman my age to get a job?”

“Look, ah, I’m so sorry for the way my friends behaved today, but you must have noticed that I didn’t join in?” I objected weakly.

“They’re your friends, and you spend time with them of your own choice, yes? That means you’re as bad as they are,” she said angrily.

I wanted to protest my innocence, but she was right. I chose to spend my time with those guys, and chose to delight in their sarcastic wit. A sobering thought suddenly occurred to me – was I becoming like them? “Look, um, I should have stuck up for you by telling them to back off. Or perhaps walked out on them.” But was too scared to risk losing their friendship.

“Why are you here?” she asked, suddenly suspicious.

That should have been my cue to disappear, but instead, I put my foot in my mouth. “Um, does Megan live here?”

“Megan? You know my daughter?” Comprehension dawned on her face. “Oh no, surely you’re not that new boy she’s been seeing?”

“Ah, um, yes. Look, I know I look like a heel right now, but can we please…”

“That’s enough! I forbid you to see Megan ever again!” The door slammed in my face.

The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.

This article has been read 1087 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Karen Wilber02/09/08
Right on topic and very realistic portrayal of insensitive jerks. He should have listened to his inner thoughts. I wonder if he'll ever patch things up?
Patty Wysong02/10/08
Sometimes you just want to reach out and 'touch' some people...and this was one of them! I loved how you demonstrated the consequences so clearly. Great story.
Lyn Churchyard02/11/08
This was very well written and I wanted to reach out and slap those jerks. You portrayed them so very well.
If your MC is smart, he'll hang around and try and make it up to Megan and her mother.
LOL see what I mean? You can't help but believe it's real. Which of course it is, because this type of thing happens every day. Well done.
Gregory Kane02/11/08
This built up to a great conclusion and how that young man deserved his comeuppance! It was a shame that he hid his kindest comments behind the menu so that the lip reader couldn’t tell what he had said. A very good exposition of the proverb.
Kristen Hester02/12/08
Right on topic. Very good job and very realistic. Bravo!
Debbie Wistrom02/13/08
Ouch! Thanks for the great story telling here, masterful use of topic! Keep writing!
Sara Harricharan 02/13/08
Wow. This was certainly a good twist. I didn't see that one coming, ending with the door slamming in his face is certainly a very vivid picture! I hope he learns his lesson, and maybe, just maybe, he can make it up to Megan and her mom. I hope his friends end up learning a thing or too sometime soon themselves. Nice job! ^_^
Shelley Ledfors 02/13/08
I really liked this piece. A great take on the topic, fabulous dialogue and depictions of the rude friends. Excellent!
Loren T. Lowery02/13/08
Nice job of irony and I can almost say your main protagonist deserved getting the door slammed in his face. That's because you did such a masterful job describing the mother's plight, making her a very believable, sympathetic character. Great job.
Maxx .02/13/08
Yes, masterful job. You've got game, as they say. Characters were strong and I liked the emotion you built in.
Tim George02/14/08
Good story Peter. The dialogue is powerful and well crafted. It's been fun watching you rise on the radar at FW. It's nice to have another guy helping the few of us males around here break the glass ceiling :)
Sara Harricharan 02/14/08
***Congratulations!*** So glad this placed! ^_^
Sheri Gordon02/14/08
Congratulations on your EC Peter. This is very, very good. Would be a great skit for youth groups.
LauraLee Shaw02/14/08
Congratulations on this excellent piece! It is well-deserved.
william price02/14/08
Excellent job, Peter!!1 Congrats on EC. God bless.
Sharlyn Guthrie02/14/08
I thought I had already commented on this great story. I certainly remember gasping when I read it! Excellent job! Congratulations on your EC placement.
Joanne Sher 02/16/08
Excellent characterization and an exceptionally strong ending. Congrats, Peter - you deserved your placing for certain.