The Official Writing Challenge
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02/07/08
Excellent! Kept my interest throughout. Great illustration of the topic and well written.
02/07/08
Good illustration of the topic! Only a smidgen of red ink-I think there was two names given for the MC in the first few paragraphs. I went back to read which name went to him, and then was on my way with the rest of the story. (Jason/Peter? Although, I could have gotten them mixed up with the other character!) Very engaging characters.
02/07/08
Excellent characterization of Peter especially, and spot on as far as the topic is concerned. Very well-done.
02/07/08
Great story! I especially like your title:) Your two first names really aren't noticeable. Dee did well to catch that! :) I had to reread it to see what she meant! This is a great story for teens. Don't be discouraged, that mistake is a small one. Keep on writing. You are very talented!
Laury
02/10/08
Good one, Chrissy! Right on topic, and very realistic.
Your story is well-written and right on topic. I could relate to Peter, having moved often in my life. The character of a new acquaintance doesn't always come through immediately.
Ouch! What a hard lesson to learn. This really held my attention. Well done, Miss Chrissy.
02/11/08
This is engaging writing that holds the reader’s attention to the very last line. I liked the way that you used italics to peek inside the MC’s head, especially as his inner thoughts were quite different from what was being said and done. I would like you to have continued using this technique in the last part of the story, so that we could understand what he was really thinking about his suspension.
I don't think you can get much closer to being on topic than this. And you presented it in a poweful way by developiing a great vulnerable but promising protagonist in Peter. The reader really cares about him, his circumstances and his outcome. Great message, great writing!
02/13/08
I felt sorry for Peter. I really wanted to cheer him up and tell him to keep on holding to that hope and not to worry that someday the real culprit will get the payback. ^_^ You made me care about the characters and wonder what was going on with the principle and all. Good job with the topic-and Peter. I enjoyed this! ^_^
02/13/08
I like how you used italics to show his thoughts. I learned something today ; ). This is a good example of the topic, too.
I was taken by the whole story and read with growing interest and a little suspence , wanting to know what was going to happen. I guess a well-written story by a good writer will do that to you!
02/13/08
Right on topic and a great read. Sad to see the guy get set up, but he could have avoided it if he had kept better company. Only red ink comment is that if a spray can had been put in his hood, he would have either felt it, or, certainly would have found it later.
This is one of those stories you HAVE to read to the end. I don't think he did it, and I think the Principal is a jerk for not checking into it further. LOL, sorry, I tend to get riled when someone is accused of something and not even given a chance to prove their innocence. Wish there was someway of proving he didn't do it. Maybe in a future Challenge? :)
02/13/08
Chrissy: Very good... I liked the way the guilt question is left unsettled. Makes the reader think and project from inside onto the story. You'll do well with this!
Yes!!!
Congratulations on placing 12th in your level and 33rd overall. Well Done Chrissy!
02/15/08
Chrissy, enjoyed the read. Well written and interesting. This would make a great short story, or maybe work into a novel. Thanks for sharing it and God bless you...Randy Gene
02/19/08
Good story that fit the topic perfectly and held my interest all the way through. Congratulations on placing in the top 40 overall and for taking 12th place for your level.