The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
02/01/08
Ah - when the "dream" turns into the reality of every day life and the magic of the wedding and honeymoon wears off - great view at the topic. The ending startled me - what a twist!
The descriptions of the courtship and wedding are all vivid and well-written. The change at the end seems abrupt. I certainly didn't see it coming (at least not like that!).
02/02/08
A more subtle transition would have been more effective as you had so ably brought the reader to a point of trust of these two characters. It was clearly all too "perfect" in your portrayal but our imperfections are only a peel or two away from the surface. It is a powerful message you are trying to convey, but the sledge hammer was heavy here!
They can't stand chocolate? Outrageous! Loved the descriptions. I surely wasn't prepared for the ending. Good job.
The emotions on the page was real and beautiful play of word. I agree with the other readers that the ending was abrupt.
02/04/08
Wonderful descriptions - and I certainly didn't see it coming. Nicely done.
02/04/08
Not exactly an Austen hero's reaction to married life, I hope! Poor Darcy got socked!!! Definitely wasn't expecting that. It made me feel like Stephanie should be in a mental hospital. But it was a good story--and I loved the references to Austen and Chesterton:)