The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/01/08
Stunning. Her conflicting emotions are expertly portrayed - her love bordering on worship, her fear, and her hatred of her husband, her hatred of herself that her husband has instilled in her. Her desperate attempt to hide her "wrongs" from him. "Jesus Loves Me" woven through the story, and her hope that it might be true.

Love it!
Wow - for lack of a better word. This is extremely intense and very well done. It's sad to think some women probably live this kind of life, or variations of it. I found this very powerful -excellent excellent writing.
02/02/08
Oh this is terrible! Oh this is awful! Did she get beaten and abused and then burn her husband / lover? Did I miss something? I actually feel sick!
02/02/08
Awesome writing. Perfectly portrays the conflicting emotions of abuse. Sometimes we need to be jolted back to the reality of our fallen world. You have done an excellent job with this!
02/02/08
This is soooo realistic: from the emotions to the triggers of his anger being such little everyday things. You do a great job bringing to light a very dark reality, and interspersing hope into it. This is powerful writing.
02/02/08
Speechless - this is just brilliant.
02/02/08
Okay, Annie brings up a good point. This is sickening but it is good for us to remember that women all over suffer abuse like this every day. This is very powerful, especially to get such a negative response! Keep up the great writing!
Laury
This is stunning in its reality. If it's fact (the author actually lived this life) it's amazing how well those feelings were expressed. (To put it mildly.) If it's fiction, it's incredibly perceptive. Either way, it's absolute genius. Well done.
Shocking realism with vivid descriptions. This is very well done.
Very realistic feelings (from what I've heard) of her blaming herself. So terrible and sad. Very powerfully written.
02/03/08
This is just the kind of well written, edgey writing the Church needs from time to time. Thanks.
02/03/08
Vivid and, unfortunately, real. Stunning portrayal of the thoughts of an abused woman. All she had to hang on to were the words of two children's songs.
Absolutely breath-taking in realism. So very well written.
02/04/08
POWERFULLY written. You can sense her fear and confusion through her scattered, frightened thoughts. It's never easy to write about, even if you haven't experienced it personally. I can't begin to tell you how deep this touched.
How true to topic and how bold of you to go there. Thanks for the REALness of this sad story.
02/04/08
wow. I think you more than nailed the topic here. There is so much emotion in your MC, it spills over into the reader with every line. The hope at the end, it's there, I think. Really descriptive writing! ^_^
02/04/08
Wow. I think I just stopped holding my breath. I'm still trembling. This truly is masterfully done.

(I really, REALLY wish you hadn't used the phrase "fool's gold", because the judges HAVE to mark you down for it)

Wow.
02/04/08
This story was drastic. Wow. It takes some courage to write something that intense. The end didn't really bring closure to me. I wasn't sure if she tried to save her husband or just got out herself. Help, anyone?? Still, a very good story!
02/04/08
I had a feeling ... and I figured it wouldn't take you long.

Great job Maxx ... now ... I'm on my way back to find something wrong ... hold on a minute ... and it won't be easy in an entry of choppy thoughts.

Okay ... so only a nick-pick.

" ... and fled." At first I thought she had fled the house.

I know, I know ... the next line places her in the hallway, but that was the best I could do. ;-) *sigh*

So, I guess, it's just almost, but not quite, close enough to perfect. ;-)
Your ability to put your readers inside the MC's head and to actually suffocate us there (as she was emotionally and physically) is awesome writing indeed! Not surprisingly, given who the author is, this piece shakes us to our toes with its stark dose of dark reality while offering that ever present but faint glimpse of light throughout. Remarkable writing!
02/05/08
Another Maxxterpiece! Your imagery is stunning, and this could be held up as an exemplar for "showing."
This is absolutely heart wrenching to me because I know that this is too often not just a story, but someone's life and pain. This was well done.
I don't think there is anything sadder than the loss of hope. When dreams are shattered by deceit and forces we are unable to control. That is until we know true hope can never be lost. What you have written is gripping and tangible in the anquish of your MC. The message unmistakable.
absolutely awesome story of pain as a result of the truth of this proverb.
02/06/08
I really liked it. A story that needed telling. It prompted me to pray straight away. God bless.